The Real Me

Another psycho.

"I'm home mom." I said as I came home from school.

"Did you hear about Mr Park?"

"No, what happened?"

"His mother passed away a few hours ago."

"WHAT!? Mom I'll be back later-" I said and walked out of my house. I was passing by the park and saw Chase sitting on a bench with his head down.

"I had enough." He said in a low tone.

"I know right." I said as I sat beside him.

"WTF! YOU SCARED ME!!" He jumped.

"Sorry, didn't mean to. But how are you?"

"It's fine, I'm fine, everything is fine."

"Then why were you saying that just now?"

"Oh that... well uhh... my grandma passed away a few hours ago..."

"And everything is fine?"

"Nothing is fine, I'm just trying not to cry."

"Why?"

"Stop asking me questions and leave me alone.."

"Stop being such an ass and cry all you want."

"That's not how it works Clair, please."

"I don't know why you are trying not to cry but you are acting like a heartless grandson right now. How can you not cry at your grandma's-"

"BECAUSE I DON'T DESERVE TO CRY!!" He yelled at me as his eyes were getting teary. "I am the worst grandson she could ever ask for...I made her live alone.. It's all my fault..." He broke down.

"That doesn't mean you can't cry."

"My uncle and all my other relatives never supported my love for makeup except her. She said I was really special and I made her happy. It's because of her that I can still... continue my dream. But a few months ago, I found out she had terminal lung cancer. I wanted to bring her with us but dad said South Korea would be better for her health. I expected this, I-I knew this time would come and when it does, I would be able to handle myself but as soon as I heard the news, it felt like the ground under me disappeared."

I was listening to him as he was sobbing really hard. I couldn't look at his face, I just held his hand and waited for him to calm down.

"She asked me to never stop dreaming. She was the only one who understood me in that huge mansion full of people. She wanted to spent her last days with me but I didn't wanna witness her deteriorating health so I left her behind. I shouldn't have done that Sin..."

"I'd do the same in your shoes. It was completely natural for you to do that and I think your grandma thinks so too. She didn't force you to stay or anything when you were leaving, right?"

"N-No..."

"That's because she knew it. And the least you can do is cry right? Let it all out and follow your dreams. That's enough to compensate for your sins."

He held my hand tightly, "Alright..." He said and cried for a while as I hugged him.

"Sin..."

"Hm?"

"You can let me go now, you're kinda choking me..."

"Oh sorry-"

"It's alright, thanks for today, I don't know what I'd be doing if I didn't meet you."

"You're exaggerating. I just said what I believe in. My grandma passed away when I was 6 years old and I had to convince myself that being sad about it forever will not help at all."