Before i start- ⚠️DEATH, SADNESS, AND SUICIDAL IDEAS⚠️ but thank you for 100 reads! it means so much to me. have a wonderful day bubs <3
i still remember the third of December.
"Its so cold!" I said shivering. "Here have my sweater. It looks better on you anyways." You said. I never took it off after that. i still wear it to this day. its one of my most prized positions.
But you don't feel the same. How do I know? Becuase I watch your eyes as she walks by. Shes better then me any day. Right?
Shes got you mesmerized. Everyone can see it. But you. It hurts me so bad.
It was a Friday night. We were listening to upbeat music in the living room. We were dancing and laughing. That was one of my best nights. Then a slow song played. You stoped dancing and looked me in the eyes. You came closer and wrapped your hands around my waist and pulled me closer. We hugged and moved to the slow calm beat. It was amazing.
Your warm body up on mine. Then the music stopped. But not to another song it just stopped. No music at all was playing. You looked at me with your Emerald eyes. The ones i fell in love with from the second I locked eyes with you. And you leaned in and kissed me.
But I am not even half as pretty.
A couple weeks latter you found the sweater you gave me and took it back. That wasnt that bad right? But then you gave it to her. My sweater to her.
"Its just polyester. Calm down Zak!" You told me. "You gave that to me first!" I yelled back with tears threatening to spill out.
I wish i were heather.
I watch as she stands with her holding your hand. Put your arm her shoulder. I swear i got colder. The thought of you guys together makes me sick.
But i honestly can't hate her. Shes one of the nicest girls i have ever meet. But sometimes i wish she were dead.
You don't know but i see your looks you give her. Its like she is the only person in the world. You don't understand. I cant talk to you about her though. You'll just say your friends. Everyone knows how you two feel.
She got you mesmerized.
Thats when i saw it. You two kissing. My heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach. I was going to puke. You kissed her. Not me.
I was slowly losing you. Because of her. We didn't talk. Or hangout. Out texts became dry and sad. We never called. Or even played Minecraft anymore.
I am not even half as pretty.
You gave her your sweater. "Its just polyester!" Your voice rings through my head. I can't stop thinking about you. How you slowly walked away from me.
I wish i were Heather. So bad. But you don't see. You can't see past her.
I wish i were Heather. Please come back.
I wish i were Heather. I am begging.
But you would never kiss me ever again would you? Becuase you like her more then me.
I am not even half as pretty.
And guess what. She still has your sweater. "Its just polyester." I tell my self.
I was never good enough to begin with was I? No i wasn't. And i can't live without being good enough for you. Thats why i have go Darryl.
i loved you.
but you fucked it up.
love, Zak <3
