begin again - charlie gillespie

chapter 44

"if throw one more snowball at me olive and i will actually shave off your eyebrows while you sleep" charlie says frustrated at the fact that he cant shovel the snow off the driveway because i keep throwing snowballs at him.

i laugh as i see him struggle to get the snow off of his clothes

"i want to see you try charles" i laugh quickly forming another snowball and throwing it at him, hitting him right in the face

"OLIVIA" he yells, making me fall over from laughing so hard.

"i hope your fingers fall off!" he says rubbing the snow off his face. he walks over to where i am, still laying on the snow unable to control my laughter.

"im sorry" i say smiling at him, wiping the tears from my eyes. he rolls his eyes but has a small smile on his lips.

"no you're not"

"yeah im not" i say, making us both laugh. he lays down next to me in the snow, staring up at the tree in his front yard.

"you know what im in the mood for?" i look over at him, raising my eyebrows as he rubs his hands over his stomach like a pregnant woman.

"hot chocolate, with whip cream and a roasted marshmellow on top"

his eyes are closed but his smile is wide as he imagines the sweet drink in his hands.

"that does sound really good right now" i say giggling

"how about i go to the store and buy everything to make it for you, as an apology for attacking you with snowballs" i suggest, his eyes open wide as he sits up.

"i accept your form of an apology" he leans over giving me a quick kiss before standing up.

he extends his hands to help me up, i give him another kiss before heading into the house to grab my bag.

"ill be right back charlie" i say as i walk down the drive way. he stops shoveling the snow, grabs my hand and brings me into him once more.

"be safe okay, i love you" he says placing a kiss on my forehead

"i love you, i'll be back soon"

i make my way to our local grocery store, enjoying the silence and the way the streets look covered in snow. its peaceful, so different from the busy city i currently live in.

i enter the grocery store, grabbing everything i need to make the hot chocolate charlie craves. i turn into the snack aisle, wanting to buy cookies when i see someone standing at the end of the aisle. i furrow my eyebrows as i get closer.

"mom?"

she turns around, she's almost unrecognizable. my mother was never one ever be unpresentable, even to something as simple as taking out the trash. she always had to do her hair, makeup and dress nicely.

to see her now standing before me, with her hair knotted and messy, her eyes red and swollen, her skin pale with the look of exhaustion all over her, is unsettling.

"i didn't know you were in town" she says coming closer to me, her voice soft and calm. a strange contrast to her normal behavior.

"i um, i came with charlie. we're staying at his family home."

she nods, standing directly in front of me now. her tired eyes search my face as they start welling up with tears.

"olivia" she extends her hand out, placing it on my cheek. tears streaming down her face.

"i never meant to hurt you" she sobs, trembling as she tries to compose herself.

"i thought i was doing the right thing, i thought i was looking out for you, for your future. i should've never intervened. i am so so sorry"

she's actually apologizing. i never thought i'd ever live to see the day.

i stand there quietly, not knowing what to say. i cant forgive her so easily, not after all she put me through.

"i know you don't understand, but i really thought i was doing right by you. i always thought i was right but look where that's taken me. it's cost me everyone i love." she continued, dropping her hand from my face and grabbing mine instead.

"i don't expect you to forgive me, i know i wouldn't if my mom would've done the same to me. i know that now. i just want you to know i'm sorry, and i will continue to be sorry for as long as i'm alive. i'm happy that you found him again and that you're happy."

im at a loss for words, i never thought on this little trip to the store that i would be having a heart to heart conversation with my broken mother in the cookie aisle.

"i accept your apology but i will work on forgiving you mom, what you did and what you said hurt so much. it'll take time but we can work on it"

i look down at our interlaced fingers, it's a strange feeling. i don't remember the last time my mother was affectionate with me.

"i don't deserve you, my perfect girl." she continues to cry making my heart hurt.

my phone ringing interrupts our moment, making me let go of her hands to take it out of my pocket.

"it's charlie calling, i should get going." i say looking between her and my phone.

"yeah of course, i'm sorry. i'll let you go" she smiles sadly at me.

"i'll see you later mom" i say turning around and answering charlie's call.

"olive are you almost home?"

"i'm just about to pay for the groceries, why?" i ask him, still trying to process what just happened with my mom.

"nothing i just miss you"

"sooo needy, it hasn't even been 20 minutes" i tease him

"actually it's been 26 minutes since you left but who's counting?" he sasses back making me laugh.

"i'm on my way home now charlie, don't miss me too much"

"no promises, byeeeee" he drags out before i hang up. i pay for my things and start heading out the door.

"olivia!"

i turn around and see my mom again, she runs her hands through her hair before speaking.

"tell charlie that i'm sorry too, he didn't deserve any of the things i did and said to him. i hope one day, he can forgive me too"

with that, she turns around and starts walking away.

a.n.

happy new year's eve babes!!!

this year was a hard one for many but i hope 2021 is at least somewhat better for all of you. i'm grateful for everyone who has taken the time to read and comment, interacting and talking with you all has been the best part of this year.

be safe and take care of yourselves! i hope you all accomplish everything you want this upcoming year.

LETS HOPE AND PRAY FOR JATP SEASON 2

i love you guys! - cyn ♥️