begin again - charlie gillespie

chapter 8

charlie's pov

"i just think we need some time apart. a break." i say with my heart beating so loud i feel like it might jump out my chest. the look on her face when those words leave my mouth almost makes me sick. "w-what? why? is something wrong?" she says on the verge of tears. i feel my heart shatter. this is for the best, its for her. i remind myself.

"i just think its what's best for us right now." i say not being able to look at her anymore. i hear her trying to steady her breathing, like im physically hurting her.

"is it that you dont love me anymore?" i snap my head towards her. how could she ever think that? "olive, you know that's not true. i will love you for the rest of my life." i reach out to grab her face but she disappears. i feel cold then suddenly i'm falling, i'm screaming out for help until all i can see is black.

"CHARLIE oh my god CHARLIE" owen screams at me, shaking me awake. it takes me a moment to register where i am, i'm completely out of breath.
"charlie man, i hate my alarm sound but waking up to you yelling and crying is probably worse." owen jokes trying to cut the tension in the room. he sighs getting no response from me. "do you want to talk about it?" i shake my head no, my throat too dry to actually talk. "i'm here if you need anything. come on, we're moving into our new place today." he beams and runs to get changed. my heart is still pounding in my chest. i haven't had nightmares like this since we first broke up. 

seeing her again, the pained look in her eyes when she saw me, made me want to drop to me knees and beg her to forgive me. 

despite the hurt, she was as breathtaking as ever. her hair was longer and lighter. her makeup accentuating the most beautiful parts of her face. her style seemed more edgy, more like herself. i couldn't help but admire her.

i try and shake the thoughts out of my head but her face remains. i shower and change into some comfy clothes. owen and i take our own cars filled with our stuff towards our new apartment building. its really nice, it comes furnished with a modern sleek theme and has a beautiful view of the city. when we arrive, we start taking boxes up to our apartment floor. it was a good thing we had an elevator. 

as we're walking owen trips bumping into me, dropping one of the boxes he was carrying and smashing me into the wall. 

"owen you IDIOT" i yell at him. he really is so clumsy some times. i leave the boxes and go downstairs for some more. i try and pile as many as i can so i don't have to make too many trips. 

as the elevator door opens, i hear owen talking. 

"im moving into this apartment, 305. im so excited liv, we're going to have sleep overs and karaoke nights OH WE CAN CARPOOL TO WORK" owen screams. i freeze. liv .

i stay in place as i hear owen make his way over to me. he takes some boxes to help me and i see her. she's looking anywhere but my direction. i feel my heart sink knowing she doesn't even want to look at me. 

"charlie you'll never believe it, olivia lives right down the hall. so when you annoy me, ill go stay with her." owen says sassily. i dont say anything, my attention still on the honey eyed girl. she looks up at owen. 

"you guys are living together?" she asked him, a surprised look on her face. "yeah charlie and i get along great so we thought, you know why not? now its even better because its three of us!" owen says excited again and hugs her. i cant help but feel my heart break as she finally makes eye contact with me, wishing i could be the blonde haired boy with his arms around her. 

after olivia left, we did our best to empty our cars from the boxes. i still had one left but i just drove to work, i didn't want be late everyday. i could here everybody singing as i'm walking towards the makeup trailer. well mostly owen screaming. everyone is laughing as i enter the trailer. 

"whats going on?" i asked confused as to why they were all screaming songs and laughing. "maybe if you weren't late all the time, you wouldnt have missed the fun." jer says as he shoves me a bit. i laugh at him. 

"okay now that everyone is here, lets go over today." olive says to everyone. i can't even pay attention to what she's saying. all i can think about is how close she is, i can smell her perfume. its still the same one direction perfume she use to use. i've missed her. 

"got it" everyone says. we all break apart to finish getting ready. i sat on a couch waiting for my turn for makeup. im scrolling through my phone when i hear a soft "hey" 

i look up in shock when i hear olivia's voice. she looks a bit amused, i play it off.

"oh hi, hey olivia. what's up?" i ask stumbling on my words. smooth.

she holds up a coffee and holds it out for me. i couldn't help but feel happiness that she got me something, even if its just coffee. she could give me a rock and i would carry it around like a diamond. 

"for me?" i asked as i meet her eyes. she only nods, granting me a small smile. 

"yeah, i was wondering maybe if we could both talk later. when we're both free." she asks timidly. she wants to talk to me. i cant help but feel happy that she will finally give me a chance to explain. "of course, anything for you olive-i mean olivia." i correct myself and take a sip of my drink. 

"you remembered my favorite." i said softly, a warm feeling spreading through me knowing she remembers. "yeah i did" she says back softly, her hard demeanor no where in sight. just her and her kind eyes.

"OKAY LOVEBIRDS, time to get to set." madison yells at us causing us to jump back. 

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the day went by and i didn't get to talk to olivia.  we've all been busy but maybe i can catch up to her in the parking lot or at our building. 

after rehearsing bright, she stayed talking to owen and madison. i helped pack up the instruments, stealing quick glances at her. 

"just take a picture of her, it'll last longer." my friend tori says walking up to me. i only roll my eyes at her.

she saw what happened the day before when i tried talking to olivia in the parking lot before leaving with owen. she saw how broken i was, she asked if i was okay and followed me back to my trailer. that night i told her everything that happened and she helped me a lot. it felt good to have someone to confide in. 

"you're sooo funny tori" i say sarcastically. i look back over to her and feel myself smile as she laughed. 

"dude you are so whipped" she teases me. "yeah yeah shut up." i laugh "she talked to me today." i say softly "no way what happened?" she asks excitedly. i look back up and olivia is leaving with madison. 

"she brought me a coffee. not just any coffee. my favorite drink!" i say excited. "i know its not much but i dont know, it meant something to me that she still remembered." tori smiles at me and rubs my back a little. "she also said that we should talk but we didnt get a chance to today. im hoping to see her at home." tori stopped and looked at me with wild eyes. "AT HOME??" i laughed at her expression "yeah we're living in the same building, better yet, same floor." we start walking towards the parking lot. "its like the universe wants you guys together." she tells me and i smile. "i sure hope so." we get to her car and say goodbye. "you've got this, call me if you need anything." tori says and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. i walk away with hopes of setting things right with my honey eyed girl. 

authors note: 

the same day just in charlie's point of view lol more drama to come the next chapter. thank you for reading and voting. love you!! - cyn <3