begin again - charlie gillespie

chapter 21

my heart is pounding and my palms are sweaty. charlie's eyebrows furrow but his eyes look.. amused? 

"what makes you think that?" charlie asks, trying to hide his smile. i look towards my living room, trying to avoid is eyes.

"i just- i dont know. i know we're only friends, actually, i dont really know where we stand to be honest. but we've been flirting or whatever and i dont feel comfortable doing that if you have something with her or if you guys are dating or if-" i stop my rambling when i feel charlie's hands on my neck, making me face him. 

when did he get this close? 

"there's nothing going on between tori and i, we're only friends." he assures me, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs. a smile forming on his face.

"i gotta say,  jealousy is an amusing color on you" he teases, ruining the moment. i push him away from me playfully. 

"im not jealous, i just dont want to be in the way" i say walking towards my couch, motioning him to sit next to me. "i saw you guys one night, it was one of the first days of filming. i was in my car waiting for it to heat up and i saw you walk her to her car. she kissed your face saying goodbye. you cant blame me for thinking something's going on." i explain my thinking to him. he places his hand on my knee, the contact making my face heat up. 

"oh, i didnt know you saw that. that night, i told her about you. about what happened between us. she heard me out when it felt like nobody wanted to. she even offered to help me fix things with you. im not too sure why she did kiss my cheek but i swear it was friendly. there is no one else. no one could ever compare to you olivia." he says now scooting closer to me, making my heart burst at his words. 

i bite my lip trying to hide my smile. i finally look up and meet his eyes. his smile is small but his eyes are bright, so full of life. 

i think about carolynn's words. the way tori looks at him, but i decide not to bring it up. 

"okay" i answer him, a blush creeping onto my cheeks as i scoot even closer to him. 

"can i ask you something?" charlie says now, clearing his throat a little as he does. i nod at him to continue. 

"is there something going on between you and owen?" he says changing his tone into a serious one. 

i love owen, he's my best friend here. but i dont feel for him the way i feel for charlie. 

"owen and i are just friends." i tell him, putting my hand over his. trying to give him some reassurance. he looks at me and nods. 

"have you said anything to him about us?" he asks me and i furrowed my eyebrows at him. i thought maybe he had told him. 

"no, i haven't. i thought maybe you did." i tell him truthfully and he give me a wary look, like he's unsure of what's to come. 

"i told him a little, but i didn't tell him the whole truth. i didnt say we were togther, i said we were best friends. i wasn't sure if you wanted me to tell him anything." he says, now looking at our hands as he interlaces his fingers with mine. 

"why would you think i didn't want him to know?" he looks at me and then back down to our hands, taking a deep breath before answering. 

"in case you liked him, i didnt want things to be weird. you guys seemed really close, you know?" he says in a higher pitch. i smile at him, fighting the urge to lean over and kiss him. 

"i must say, jealousy is an amusing color on you charles" i repeat his words from earlier, watching his face flush as i laugh. 

"shut up olive" he laughs with me. i finally feel like i can breathe again. 

a comfortable silence washes over us. our hands still laced together, both of us unsure of what to say. 

i look at him as he has his head laid back onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling. his jawline more defined and his hair messy as always. 

he looks so good

"olive, you're staring" he says in a sing song voice, i laugh at him as he turns his head to me. 

"there's one more question i want to ask you." he says lowly. his eyes finding mine. i nod at him to continue. 

"you said earlier you weren't sure where we stand. i dont know about you, but i want to be with you. i dont want to be away from you ever again. but it's your decision. if you want to take it slow, im all for it. it you feel the same, say the words and im yours. if you dont, ill back off. whatever you want. where do you want us to stand?" he says passionately pulling our interlaced hands to his chest. 

my heart feels like it might burst from happiness, my stomach is doing flips. the biggest smile forming on my face. a giddy laugh escapes my lips before answering

"i feel the same charlie. i really do but i do want to take it slow. at least for now." as soon as i answer, im engulfed into his embrace. 

he pulls me up to sit on top of him, my legs on either sides of his lap, pulling me as close to him as possible. my face snuggled into his neck, his scent almost bringing me to tears. 

i finally have my charlie back.