begin again - charlie gillespie

chapter 17

olivia's pov

"i-i just dont know if im ready" i say, looking at him and his sorry eyes. "please olivia, you deserve to know the truth." he grabs my hands and pulls me closer to him.

with my heart pounding in my chest, i simply nod back at him. he gets even closer to me, his fingers moving a piece of my hair behind my ear. i cant help but lean into him.

savoring this moment before what comes next.

he takes a deep breath as he holds my hand again.

"the day before i left" he starts, his voice now shaky and afraid. i nod again, encouraging him to continue.

"i dont know if you remember but that whole month you were studying and working like crazy trying to get good grades and take state tests to get into a good university. you had a big test coming up and you were working so hard, i wanted to get you flowers. i wanted you to look at them and remind yourself that your extraordinary, no matter what" he looks at me but i dont say a word.

"i went to the grocery store, the one thats like 4 blocks away from your house and i got you tiger lilies. while i went to pay, i bumped into your mom." i furrowed my eyebrows at this, confused to where this was going.

"i said hi and told her about what i wanted to surprise you with, she offered me a ride back to your house if i helped her with the groceries. but when i paid for the flowers, i was a dollar short so i paid with some quarters. after that, she- she just looked at me strangely" he grips my hands tighter, trying to hold it together.

"on the ride to your house, she asked me what i planned to do after high school. when i told her acting, she completely threw it aside. telling me that most people don't make it. she was like a second mom to me, but she was making me feel like my dreams didn't matter" his eyes are filled with tears now, my heart breaking at the sight of him.

"your mom told me i got in the way of your success. that when im around, i'm a distraction and that you should remain focused and driven because you need to have a stable job, not like an acting job. not like someone like me." he removed his hands from mine and wiped his tears. i feel tears streaming down my face, hating the way my mother spoke to him, but i remain motionless.

"she made me feel so worthless." he cried even harder. "then she said you were too in love with me to ever leave me. that i should do whats best for you. she got into my head, olivia. she said she didn't want her daughter to pay for something as simple as flowers with cents. i never wanted to leave you. i never wanted to break your heart the way i did. you're everything i could ever want. but she told me i had to leave you. that if i loved you, i had to leave you." i feel my heart stop beating.

my own mother told him to leave me.
she got into his head and manipulated him.
yet she would console me, hold me at night as i cried in her arms, telling me i'll be alright.
when she was the reason all along.

i stand up, rage filling through my body. my vision blurred from the never ending tears steaming down my face.

"im so sorry olivia, please forgive me" he cries, falling from the couch to his knees. "please, i just got you back, i dont want to lose you again."

my heart breaking once more for the vulnerable boy in front of me.

i know my mother, i know what's she's capable of. i know it's not his fault. she always gets her way.

it starts clicking in my head why my mother acted in certain ways after charlie left. why she didn't talk about him, why she would push me to get over it, why she smiled when i said he left town.

who would want their child to have their heart broken like mine was?

i walk towards charlie and match his position, kneeling in front of him. he looks at me with terrified eyes. i wrap my arms around him and pull him into me.

he's shocked at first, tensed up at my touch. then he relaxes, crying even harder, crushing me into his embrace. i couldn't help but cry into him. 

we stay like that for about 10 minutes, comforting each other. i'm the first one to pull back a little, moving my hands to his face. i wipe his tears, pushing his hair out of his face. 

"charlie, i forgive you." i tell him, my voice cracking from crying so hard. "i do forgive you, i know how my mother is and im so sorry she made you feel like that." he gives me a small smile, tears still in his eyes. "you're worth the world charlie" his eyes never leave mine as they fill up with tears again. 

im brought into his embrace again, trying to mend our broken hearts together once more.

authors note 

did i cry writing this chapter? yes i did. i would die for charlie. thank you to everyone who's read so far. you guys are so funny, i love reading the comments. please keep voting and commenting. love you guys!! - cyn <3