chapter 42 - f i v e

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A/N: releasing this chapter early because it's harry's bday (styles) everyone say happy birthday to the loml (fred's second sorry not sorry)

***

Fred's POV:

It's been five days. Five fucking days since the love of my life was taken from me. Five days since I have seen her. Not one time during those five days did I stop looking for her.

George and Lee have been helping me look for her as well as Sirius and Lupin. When George and Lee found me, I broke down. I cried for hours, blaming myself for letting her slip through my hands that easily.

I promised Sirius I would always protect her but I didn't. I broke my promise. Everyone took turns sleeping and looking but Sirius and I were awake almost the entire time trying to figure out where she could possibly be.

It was around 3 in the morning and I was sitting on the couch, thinking of possibilities when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Fred," the voice said. I turned around to see Sirius standing behind me. "Go to bed."

"I can't Sirius. I can't stop looking for her."

"I will continue looking for her but please go to sleep. You look like absolute shit. You have dark eye bags, you're hair is a mess, and you look like you haven't showered in a week."

"But Natal-"

"I know. Fred she is my daughter and I am hurting too but at least I am taking care of myself. We are all here for you, we are all here for Natalia so please go shower and sleep and I promise you we will not stop looking."

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice cracking.

"Why are you sorry?"

"I let her go. I should've tried harder to stop her. It's my fault she's not here right now making jokes and being Natalia."

"Don't say you're sorry."

"What?"

"This isn't your fault. You have no reason to say sorry."

"I promised you I would keep her safe and I broke that promise." I never broke my promises. That was something in my life that had never happened except for now.

"Fred you did your best. That was what I had you promise. I had you promise to try your best to keep her safe which is exactly what you did."

"Thank you Sirius," I said with a sad smile.

"You're welcome. Now go sleep, merlin knows you need it." I just laughed before making my way to my bed and crashing into a deep sleep.

***

I was in a dark room. All I could see was black. It was like my eyesight was removed and I was blind. No amount of light could've lit up this room.

I looked around before hearing footsteps approach me.

"You fucking whore!" I heard before a sharp smack hit my cheek. Tears flew down my face, making my eyesight even worse than it already was.

"Stop crying you fucking bitch! You deserve this!"

"Please stop," I cried out except my voice sounded different. It sounded less manly and more like a girl's voice. The man didn't stop but hit me again, harder this time.

"Why are you doing this to me?" My voice still sounded odd.

"Because it's what you deserve for doing that," he said while pointing to a girl in the corner. A bright light was shown on her and my heart fell out of my chest.

There was Natalia sitting on the floor, blood seeping out of her stomach. Her chest wasn't rising and falling meaning she wasn't breathing. She was dead.

"NO!" I screamed.

"You did this. You are the reason she is dead," he kept saying over and over again. The pain hurt too much from seeing what I did to her that I wanted to rip out my heart, it's not like I didn't already feel like that.

"Now you know how she felt, hallucinating your dead body hoping it was her instead over and over again. You know how it felt when she was abused," the man said. 

"No-"

"I'm okay Freddie," I heard a quiet, angelic voice say. I turned around and saw Natalia standing there in a white dress.

"Nat-" my voice still sounded different. It almost sounded exactly like Natalia's.

"Why do I sound like you?" I asked.

"Because this is what I had to go through when you let me go. You're feeling the same pain as me, you are practically me right now."

I couldn't say anything. How was I supposed to live with the fact that I did this to her?

"Now you know what it felt like. How much it hurt to be stuck in a room away from all your loved ones just wishing you were dead. How much it hurt to be called a whore every single day and to be beaten up so badly you couldn't even recognize yourself in the mirror."

"Natalia-"

"I'm not blaming you Freddie. I just want you to know what I was going through-" but she couldn't finish her sentence because blood started seeping through her dress.

I ran to catch her, blood coating my arms and hands and my clothes.

"No no no no no. Nat don't you dare fucking die on me," I screamed, trying to figure out a way to stop the bleeding.

"It's too late Freddie, you can't save me," she said, blood spurting out of her mouth.

"Nat no you can't do this to me," I cried out.

"I'm sorry Freddie. I'm sorry-"

"NO!"

***

Third Person POV:

"NO!" Fred screamed, waking up drenched in his own sweat, his chest heaving up and down.  

"What the hell just happened?" he whispered out. George  quickly ran into his room, hearing the loud screams erupting from him. 

"Freddie!" George shouted.

"What?!" he frantically replied.

"Are you okay? Why were you screaming?" George asked. 

"It was just a bad dream I'm fine George." He hesitantly accepted his answer, not wanting to pry in case he pissed him off. Before George could say anything, Sirius yelled for the twins. 

George and Fred ran out into the living room to see Natalia in Sirius's hands, blood covering her clothes. 

"He's dead," she said, breaking the silence. "I killed him."

Fred went over to her and Sirius to hold her, not wanting to let her go. He held her in his hands, brushing her hair out of her face, just watching her.

"Nat where's the blood coming from?" Fred asked. 

"I don't know- ow," she winced when Fred touched the side of her stomach. 

"We have to take you to the hospital love."

"No no no, they're gonna ask what happened and I can't- I can't- I-" 

She never finished her sentence. 


A/N:

i'm sorry ik y'all hate the cliffhangers but i love teasing you guys mwah 

- ms. lube

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