XLII. A MONSTER'S SELF HATE

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A MONSTER'S SELF HATE!

A MONSTER'S SELF HATE!

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FEBRUARY 1977

6th Year

• • • •


Holland let out a tired sigh, as she Bronwyn and Maxine walked back from Charms.

The girl was particularly tired, as the night before was the full moon, meaning that she was up all night, worrying for her boyfriend, who was incredibly adamant that she stayed in the castle this time. It also didn't help her nerves that she hadn't seen him or any of the other boys all day.

"And then Professor Flitwick said that he was very impressed with my essay," Bronwyn finished her story, "So thank you, Holland."

Holland smiled, lost in her own thoughts, "No worries." She muttered.

"You okay?" Maxine asked the girl, concerned.

Holland nodded, "Just tired." She hummed, as they turned a corner.

The trio froze, staring at the scene in front of them.

A furious Lily Evans was standing protectively in front of a first year, as she glared at Mulciber and his gang.

"I said: Leave. Him. Alone." The redhead said through gritted teeth.

"What are you going to do about it?" Mulciber smirked, "Mudblood." He finished, making Lily flinch like she had been slapped in the face.

Holland's face dropped, as Lily made eye contact with her, silently asking for help.

But Holland's feet stayed glued to the floor.

"Mulciber. Avery. Rosier," A sharp voice listed off, making everyone turn to see Professor McGonagall standing near Holland, Maxine and Bronwyn, "Come with me. Now."

Begrudgingly, the three boys followed after the Professor, leaving Maxine, Bronwyn, Holland, Lily and the first year alone in the corridor.

"Come on." Bronwyn muttered, tugging on the sleeve of Holland's robe, making the three Slytherin's continue their way down the corridor, Holland not being able to bring herself to look at her friend as they walked past.

***

Later that day, Lily sat in the library, doing her Arithmancy homework, when Holland rushed up to her.

"Lily, are you alright?" She asked her friend, who looked up at her with a frown.

"So you suddenly care?"

"W-what?" Holland stuttered.

"Well, you were perfectly fine to just stand there when it was happening," Lily said, "And now, here you are when nobody can see you to be my friend."

"W-what was I meant to say?" Holland spluttered.

"Something at least, I thought we were friends." Lily told her, standing up.

Now it was Holland's turn to flinch as though someone had slapped her, "We are."

"Then why didn't you say something?" The redhead snapped, "And if we're friends, then why don't you sit with me at lunch? Or talk to me or Maggie outside of the library."

"You know I can't."

"Yes. You can," Lily said through gritted teeth, "You're just too scared to."

"You're right," Holland said with a curt nod, tears pricking at her eyes, face hard, "I guess that's why I'll never be a Gryffindor. I'm too much of a coward." She finished, before turning on her heel and quickly exiting the library, leaving a tearful Lily behind.

***

Exiting the library, Holland did her best to keep the tears at bay, when someone grabbed her shoulder, turning her around to look at them.

"Not now, Sirius." The Slytherin told the boy.

"It's Remus." The shaggy-haired Gryffindor said, grabbing her attention, looking at the boy with deep concern.

***

"Just, try to keep calm." Sirius told Holland, as they stood in the Hospital Wing, before opening the curtain that was hiding her boyfriend from the rest of the room.

"Oh my God." Holland choked out, covering her mouth with her hands at the sight in front of her.

There, Remus Lupin lay, dark bags under his eyes and deep, fresh scratches across his face, and probably more of his body

All inflicted by himself.

"Remus." The Slytherin whispered, falling down onto the chair that was placed next to his bed, taking his hand in her own.

"He'll be okay," Sirius said, sitting down next to the girl, putting his hand on her shoulder, "He could've been a lot worse."

"Thank you." Holland whispered to the boy, as a tear fell down her cheek.

"For what."

"Taking care of him," The Irish girl told him, "Like you said, it could've been a lot worse."

"We'll always take care of him," Sirius said, "As we know you will be, too."

The pair shared a smile, before Holland rested her head on the boy's shoulder.

Both of them waiting for Remus to wake up.















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