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Life goes on 2 vkook

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Life Goes On 2
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Author :: Mochi1316

Reviewer :: Author_Jenny

First Impression :: 9/20

The story's outlook, unfortunately didn't look very appealing to me. The cover was simply made, just a few texts were written over a fanart. The texts are very clear and they are presented in simple fun colors that don't match the theme and make the cover look slightly dull. I would highly suggest you order a cover for your book from a graphics shop if you are finding it difficult to make one yourself.

The choice of title seems quite justified to me because it expresses how the story continues just as how life continues, I could relate the objective of the story with the title, to say the least. But there was again a slight problem with how it was written. You wrote 'life goes on 2 vkook' all in one go. It could have been "Life Goes On { Vkook } « book 2 »", this way it looks cleaner and understandable.

Again the way you started your blood looks a little abrupt to me. You wrote, "This is the second book where it continues", just as you read it, it seems a little empty. "The story of Life Goes On continues" could have looked better. There are many article errors and minor mistakes that you can edit out. For example, abrupt capitalization along with the mid sentence. You have to understand the importance of punctuation along with where and when to use it. "Mom, can you tell The story of the wolf" is a dialogue but was not put under double quotations.

You have to improve your sentence construction and you can do that by understanding the language properly. Until unless your grammar is not clear you will keep making small mistakes that will ruin your story.

Beginning of a new start :: 5.5/10

Your character evolution chapter seemed fair, except for a few punctuation mistakes like using a 'comma' before the last adjective that you used to describe a person when it should have been 'and' also in some descriptions you missed putting 'commas' in between. For example :- You wrote "Loves sleep wants to be a rock, loves to rap". It should have been "Loves 'sleeping', wants to be a rock { extra information } 'and' loves to rap." Minute mistakes like this make a huge impact on the readers and decide whether they want to continue reading the book or not. Also, I suggest you to write "Age :- 25" instead of "25 Age" it sounds a little improper.

There were a few mistakes in the very first paragraph of your book. But you tried to make it look philosophical and poetic which I really appreciate, your paragraph needs a little work on it as it lacks articles like "an" before "end", the second sentence structure needs to be edited, I could understand what you were trying to say by "It can be the end of it was one sided.." you seemed to have missed out on a few words so look into that. Again mistakes like this have been made throughout the chapters, so you need to look into that, especially sentence construction and punctuations.

The sentence is not just randomly putting words together and ending it with a full stop. A group of words becomes a sentence only when they make sense. I hope you understand my point.

Concept & plot :: 17/25

The concept was not very unique, but it wasn't a complete cliché too. I liked how you started with omegaverse and brought it down to just human beings along with the reincarnation concept. The story pace had fluctuations every now and then, but since it doesn't affect the story as a whole, I don't see it being much of a problem. As far as detailed writing is concerned, you have to work on that. For most of the scenes, you seemed to have just 'touched the surface' and have not seemed to explore the depths by probably adding a little more detail to your writing. Express the character's emotions, the environment, the surroundings, the pick on aspects present in the surroundings and correlate it to the emotions or the feelings of your character.

Characters & emotions :: 10/15

Just as I said, you seemed to just "touch the surface" and not go into the depths. Your readers should be able to relate to your character emotionally and mentally. And for that, you have to first describe the emotions your characters are going through. If the readers don't understand the character's feelings, they won't be able to relate to them anyways.

Tone & Style :: 4/10

Your way of narration could have been much better, sometimes it's very difficult to differentiate whether a character is saying dialogues, or thinking, or performing an action. You have to make your way of writing clearer. There are randomly some words missing in between sentences that make the whole thing very confusing. I can understand that English is probably not your first or second language, but if you are willing to pursue this language while writing you have to learn it properly first. To me, you seem to be confused with the very basics of this language.

But there is no need to be worried or disappointed, you can make yourself better by improving your basics and focusing on the language and literature.

Grammar :: 7/20

As I have been saying all along, your grammar needs a lot of improvements, starting from the punctuations, to sentence construction, spellings, basic grammar ( articles, conjunctions, tense ), etc. There are numerous mistakes and I can point out all of it but I have tried my best. You have a good thinking capability and you can make a plot and its sequences that would be included in it but you find it difficult to express yourself and I completely understand that. I am sure you will be able to improve yourself. I see the potential in you and you need to see it too. Do not get discouraged or disheartened, none of us are perfect and thus we constantly try to improve yourself and you should too.

TOTAL :: 52.5/100