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True Beauty #2

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True Beauty #2
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Author :: Pepper_minth

Reviewer :: wuwtaetae

First Impression :: 7/20

» Cover :: 4/10
The font is one of the most basic fonts, and I can almost remember its name if I think about it hard enough. It's that common and basic. The placement of the font isn't great either. It's placed on their foot so it doesn't look pretty nor neat. The picture you used for it was fine as it conveyed the genre well, but it didn't include any of the people in your book, so I had to consider that factor and reduce marks too.

» Title :: ⅖
Jennie is pretty, so true beauty. I get it but I don't see any resemblance of the drama true beauty in your book. As you'd know, true beauty aired and gained popularity so people would expect your book to be about the drama and not something else. I haven't watched the series, but I read summaries of true beauty just for the sake of this review, and the plot wasn't the least bit matching yours, so I have no idea why you've named your book true beauty. I'm completely lost as to why the '#2' exists.

» Blurb :: ⅕
It reveals just too much. It's practically an info dump more than anything else. Which blurbs or just about anything should be. Info dumps are basically paragraphs which tell and don't show. There's no place for imagination, no place for curiosity. It's just spoon feeding to the readers, which the readers surprisingly don't like. Reveal maybe a quarter of what the actual book is in the blurb, hiding all the important parts, just leaving a sliver of it so that the readers read more because of curiosity. It's structured in the most basic of forms, with the most basic of words; nothing left to ponder over. It's just not how a blurb should be. It should be able to evoke curiosity, go just a tad into the setting and genre of the book, and have questions that reveal what the book is about. It shouldn't have too much info; practically exposing all the plot twists. Maybe you could add a quote in the beginning. Something catchy, something the characters say or think. Basically the turning dialogue of your book.

Beginning of a new start :: 3/10

Info dump. Complete info dump. Info dump of the past. I have no idea what to say of this. The point of view change was too much, with it changing about, what four, five time in a single chapter. It was really difficult to keep up with and I kept getting confused on who's thinking what. Kai is a side character and going on chapters with him as if he's the antagonist wasn't ideal and was totally redundant. The male protagonist has a past too so are you gonna write chapters and chapters about his past too, I wonder. I definitely wouldn't have chosen to start with the routine thing, going to the office, and the past of the what is going to be the past after the male protagonist enters, it was all too much and too fast. No information on the setting, the world they're living in, the culture or just about anything. A story can be set anywhere so you've gotta let readers know when and where the characters live so that they understand. Don't go on and on pages about it too, just let them know in slivers, they're clever enough to figure the rest out on their own but you've gotta start first and reveal that sliver.

Concept and plot :: 15/25

It was really basic but not really an overused trope or cliché. It might be a personal opinion but I haven't read much on this plot and that was why I gave you the marks I did. If it were the from enemies to lovers cliché without a plot twist just written by another author, I honestly to God would've given up hope. Thankfully, it wasn't. I honestly thank you for choosing not to write overused tropes. Even though there's all that, the plot was too basic and predictable. If I just knew what would happen then why should I take my time and read further? I'll just leave you with this question.

Characters and emotions :: 2/15

It was all tell, not show; explain, not describe. There was no description so there was no emotions. I couldn't feel what she was feeling or even what Kai was feeling. I just felt like her therapist listening to her rant about everything that had happened /while/ she had another track of thought running through her mind. How would I even feel anything? Sympathy? Maybe. But is just sympathy what we writers really want readers to feel?

I don't see how Jennie is human. She has no special traits that belong to her. Being human is being unique and nothing about her was unique. While writing characters, write them flawed, that's what makes them human. Give them traits, give them characteristics that make them, them. It might be something as small as I don't know, a character singing whenever they feel nervous to calm down, perhaps. Something like, always getting red in the face after washing it. For a more personal example, I have a character in my book who keeps saying like in the middle of their sentences and another character who only speaks posh English and flaunts their money and status. These are small things, but they make a difference. Characters are human, just fictional. Give them characters. Make them grow. Show the process.

Tone and style :: 3/10

Basic, to put it simply. To elaborate, it was very amateur and cliché. Too many point of view changes. Description from the first person point of view was written in third person. Like, blushing. Your character can't see that they're blushing if it's in the first person point of view. You can't see yourself blushing unless through a mirror. Then, how does the character feel them blushing? Is it the rush of blood? The warmth when they touch their cheeks? Someone pointing it out? Looking in the mirror? You need to think about every detail. There are redundant chapters. Yes, complete chapters that are redundant. I don't get how you still wrote Kai's point of view even after he died. It should've changed from when he was unconscious. Don't mind my language but he's fucking unconscious! Do you know what's happening after you faint? Then how do you expect him to know what happened? And grim reaper, oh Lord. Is this romance with fantasy as a sub genre or angst? I'm confused here. Stay in your element. Plan it out. Plan your characters. Just pm me if you need help or just pm anybody from kpop house and ask for help if you need any, I'm sure we're all available and open to it.

Grammar :: 12/20

Your grammar wasn't bad. There were just these 'omg's and 'idk's instead of their abbreviations. You didn't maintain a tense constantly. It kept changing to present times which isn't how it should be. If you write in the past, write in the past. If you write in the present, write in the present. Placement of commas were sometimes wrong. Wrong use of hyphen. Wrong articles. Use grammarly. Your grammar isn't the worst. You'll improve.

Total :: 42/100