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The Blood Moon

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The Blood Moon
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Author :: jiminslost2005jams

Reviewer :: Jiminandhisjams9

First Impression :: 7/20

» Cover :: 4/10

I like the photo you’ve chosen. However, the font is too bland and I don’t even like its placement. I suggest you change it or at least make some changes. 

» Title :: 1.5/5

Unoriginal - that’s how I’d describe it. In this review shop, there’s literally a book with the same title, that I myself reviewed. The only difference is that you have added an article before “Blood Moon”, meanwhile, the other author’s book is called just “Blood Moon”. Do not misunderstand, I am not implying or even thinking that you plagiarized them, just suggesting its lack of originality.

» Blurb :: 2.5/5

It’s not the worst I’ve seen, but that doesn’t make it good or even decent. Firstly, you had run-ons, your sentences were too long, and you didn’t even bother to add a comma at some crucial points. Another thing, why did you even mention the fact that Hoseok is Jimin’s roommate? It makes no sense and just seems out of context. I see that you tried to keep your blurb mysterious, but it doesn’t have that effect.

I am not exactly sure why, but it rather gives me cliché vibes. You do describe the environment, yet because it’s not an unusual or exciting one, that mysterious effect doesn’t exist. I suggest you do some relation to the title or tell the readers at least a little bit more about the plot.

Beginning of a new start :: 3/10

Okay, but starting off a story with a character cringily introducing themselves has been long-time considered a bad start... I honestly don’t like this type of narrative where the main character is straight-up, 90% of the time speaking directly to the reader. It isn’t funny and because of the terrible writing style, it’s even worse. 

I’ll elaborate and discuss more the events later. All I have to say is that I was super uninterested and knew that I was gonna take a cab straight to hell, and this is nowhere near a compliment. My point is not to offend you, but to help you, so I’d appreciate if you would be able to accept the constructive criticism (I am only saying this because I might sound harsh at some points). 

Concept and plot :: 16/25

Firstly, let me start with some rather specific stuff. You have not established the characters’ personalities. Is Jimin naive? Is he sceptical or careless? Why does he just casually accept an unknown invite? He barely hesitates, really, and that is acceptable - IF he is a naive person. On the other hand, If he is not naive, he should at least spend some time pondering on this uncanny invite - like a normal human. Also, Hoseok doesn’t even try to stop him:

“Jimin you shouldn’t go...” 

“But Hyung pleaseeeee…”

“Okay, I guess there’s nothing I can do to stop you…”

That’s literally what happens… if Hoseok really wanted to stop Jimin he’d be way more worried and persuasive. He wouldn’t give up after asking him to not go only once, he’d ask him at least thrice. Do not make unrealistic characters (by this I don’t mean vampires, etc, I am speaking of their personality and way of acting), they are annoying and unrelatable.