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His Revenge

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His Revenge
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Author :: spinebreaker_2000

Reviewer :: gukkeun

First Impression :: 5/20

First impressions determine not only the quality, but in another word it represents your book as a whole on the outside. There are a couple of things I'd like you to look over and fix before anything else because it defines how present your book to the people.

» Cover :: 2/10
I had no problems with the placing of fonts, but the background itself needs more work. The cover could've been done better. There's a lot of parts that the cover completely skipped over in the midst of its creation including the attraction points and the creativity level. It looks incredibly empty, especially the empty blank grey space above the boys' heads. The characters as well weren't position in a pleasant way, they looked like they were squeezed together to fit the bottom area when there's a whole lot of space above their heads.

» Title :: 2/5
Plain. Very plain. It suits the story no doubt, but there's no taste to it. Very dull in fact. Use Pinterest, believe me, there are tons of aesthetic and eye pleasing names in there. Just look up "aesthetic words" and be blessed with the results you find. Change the title to something similar or closely connected to revenge or a relationship filled with hatred. "His Revenge" honestly looks like the name of a chapter.

» Blurb :: 1/5
I wasn't impressed by it in the slightest. If you think the visible grammatical errors aren't going to affect anything then you might want to look over your work and rethink your decision. When you join clauses with commas, leave a space after every comma, please. And the single "You" with a capital letter, fix it. You only use capital letters after ending a sentence, and a comma does not work the same way a full stop does. The content of the blurb is very bland. It doesn't trigger one's curiosity nor does it push them to click on that read button. Add more details, give them more insight into the story. Make them impress with merely a description because that's what will pull in genuine readers.

Beginning of a new start :: 1/10

The pictures threw me off. I could overlook one or two of them but four in the very first chapter? When you write, you don't depend on pictures to explain the situation. In fact, you don't need them at all. I've had experience regarding this and believe me, unnecessary pictures only make the whole thing messy and childlike. If you consider it your style I'll have to break the truth to you even if it seems harsh, to grow as an author you must focus on describing the situations instead of spending more time on google finding Jin pics. The grammatical errors are literally scattering across the pages and your chapters are short. Very short. Remove the pictures and I'll spend thirty seconds to flip through three chapters.