Seesaw Review Shop 2.0

Love in Time

╭⋟───────────────╮
Love in Time
╰───────────────⋞╯

Author :: Park_jimin_mia

Reviewer :: Chaotic_Lals

First Impression :: 5.5/20
» Cover :: 3/10
The cover wasn’t really appealing. The text placements could be improvised a lot more. The title was way too far up, and the authors’ names almost went out of the cover’s border. There were thin strips of black on other sides of the cover. The picture’s quality was ruined once you added the overlay which gave off the flaky effect. The fonts were of a poor choice too. Also, the part ‘authors:’ was unnecessary.

» Title :: ⅖
I’ve come across many books with this title. But, the thing is, I don’t really think that this name suits the entirety of the book. You could’ve done a much better job on this one.

» Blurb :: 0.5/05
I don’t really know if you can consider it a book’s synopsis in the first place. It doesn’t contain enough body to attract readers. There were errors in the grammar and punctuations too. It basically only had a single line which held no relevance to the idea you supposedly wanted to convey. To sum it up, it was unclear, had no contents in depth, and was bland.

Beginning of a new start :: 1/10
With all honesty, I wanted to stop reading the book right after the very first chapter. Everything was just too confusing; from the perspectives to the ideas you wanted to convey. You should avoid inserting pictures whilst a chapter is going on. It ruins the flow of the book. If you want to insert images, keep it for the very end of the chapter. 

Concept and plot :: 8/25
First off, if you decide to write the book through different perspectives, make sure to write at least two to three chapters in the same perspective, before switching. Changing perspectives so often completely ruins the flow.

 Coming to the plot of the book, it was both lagged up, and rushed. I don’t know if that makes sense, but yes, that’s what I felt. The book had a lot of unnecessary filler chapters which made the actual plot lag. But the plot did start coming into light, you rushed it. The plot was a bit unrealistic at some points too.

Characters and emotions :: 5/15
The characters could’ve been much better if you just improved your writing style. As of now, they aren’t good. Almost all of them have personalities that have similar roots. They don’t exactly have an ‘individual spotlight’. Plus, when you write an OT7 fanfiction, you need to make sure all characters are given equal importance. I don’t think the book served justice in this term.

Moving on to the emotions, I couldn’t relate to any of it, for the simple reason that your writing style wasn’t good enough to convey everything. Like I already mentioned above, some parts of the book were unrealistic which made it even harder for me to relate to the emotions.

Tone and style :: 2/10
The writing style needs a lot of improvement. First off, refrain from giving off unnecessary details— stick to the topic. Next, avoid writing the same thing over and over again by conveying them in different ways. For instance, in the first chapter, you write the following:

‘They are a bit different than others . More weird than others. They are also known as weird partners.All of their friends call them weirdos and of course they indeed are weird.’

First off, do not leave space between a full stop and the word preceding it. And, you are to leave space after a full stop before starting a new sentence. Next, when you compare people or groups of people, you use the superlative form of adjectives. So, they’d be ‘weirder than others’, not ‘weird than others’. It’s ‘of course’, not ‘ofcourse’. Then, the main point; throughout this whole paragraph, you only talk about their ‘weirdness’ with no exact context. And by far, it was unnecessary to elaborate it this much.

Moving on, you need work on your descriptive writing and clarity. You need to describe more when it comes to the emotions of a certain character and when there’s a relevant change of scenes or scenarios. Keyword: relevant. Like I mentioned above, avoid over-explaining and giving off unnecessary details.

Now, coming to the actual writing style. When I read your book, I felt like it was written by an average fourth grader. It seemed like something a child would write in her personal diary— not something that was efficient enough to be presented as a novel. Almost all ideas you tried to convey couldn’t be interpreted properly.

Grammar :: 5/20
There were plenty of errors in the grammar and punctuations. Starting off with the grammar, it’s mostly the tenses. If you decide to write in past tense, you might as well stick to it. Switching between past tense and present tense is both grammatically incorrect as well as confusing. 

Moving on to punctuations, you have loads to improve. You add way too many exclamation points— which, needless to be said, is grammatically incorrect. Then, you do not use commas when needed; instead, you use them wherever they aren’t needed. 

In dialogues, you are to use a comma instead of a full stop, if the sentence isn’t completed yet (that is, if it’s further continued in the form of narration). This especially applies to action tags. You do not add it after the double quotes, you use a comma before it— unless you use British English, which you don’t.

The spacings between words and punctuations were just messed up. You are to leave space between a period and its preceding word and not to leave space for the same case when it comes to the usage of a comma. Then, you are supposed to leave space after a full stop, before starting a new sentence.

You are not supposed to include dialogues by two speakers in the same paragraph. It’s both incorrect, and confusing. Split ‘em into two.

Lastly, the universal value of an ellipsis is three— nothing more, nothing less. Using more or less than the given value is grammatically incorrect.

Total :: 26.5/100