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Cherophobic Her

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Cherophobic Her
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Author :: kpopcharmseu
Reviewer :: Taebaetae74

First Impression :: 14.5/20

» Cover :: 7/10
So basically, the book revolves around a cherophobic girl who gets healed (somewhat) through her interactions with her roommate. Now, keeping that in mind, I don’t completely agree that the cover goes with the book’s overall plot.
Other than that, it’s all good.

» Title :: 5/5
Goes well with the book. So well done! (I mean, I definitely DID NOT look the term up or something pfft)

» Blurb :: 2.5/5
It could be made more entrancing, in my opinion. Yes, it is good, but not good enough. You could’ve added more essence. Tell readers more about the book. Not directly of course, but by going around words. Try to convey ideas without actually conveying them. You know what I’m trying to say? Convey messages indirectly.
Also, the ellipsis you used towards the end of the synopsis was unnecessary. Lastly, if you want to curse, just curse. Don’t add the asterisks and other symbols to make it seem less offensive. It kinds of ruins the flow of the book.

Beginning of a new start :: 5/10

You can work on it more. I feel that you don’t describe scenes so well. Moreover, the first couple of chapters are perhaps the most important chapters of a book, since it either encourages or discourages the readers into reading more. You seem to have difficulties in conveying ideas. The structure of the chapters are a bit off too. By that, I mean the overall execution. There should be a ‘flow’ when you move from one scene to another; the book lacks in it. Again, adding more details and an essence to the book can improve this.

Concept and plot :: 18/25

Ah well, I haven’t read much of the book since there’re only about 7 chapters; but from what I’ve read, the concept seems good. Not to mention, the message you’re trying to convey through this book is something that’s really appreciable. It can help a lot of people or at least bring a smile to their faces.
The reason why I deduced scores in this category is because of the lack in execution of the plot. This will be explained more in the coming categories! But, know that (like I already mentioned above) at some points of the books, the flow was disrupted. Jumping from one scene to another; or in short, a bit rushed. Not the whole plot of course, just some parts. For instance, in the first chapter, you tried to convey that food made the female lead happy. But, it was all a bit too fast. Adding a bit more details (like describing emotions) can help solve this. Describe emotions in such a way that the ‘sadness’ slowly lifts to ‘happiness’.

Characters and emotions :: 11/15

The characters were adorable to say the least. Development takes time of course, so I couldn’t catch much of it since there’re only 7 chapters. But I do hope it comes along. The way you’ve given each character its own spotlight is also appreciable. But, the problem lies in the emotions. Like I mentioned above, you need to describe emotions more. Instead of  ‘stating’ emotions, ‘describe’ them. You see the difference?
Of course, you are not expected to add in descriptions of emotions at every point of the book; but, you do have to provide them at points that could tell readers more on what the character is like- what his/her personality is like.

Tone and style :: 6/10

Now, I know I’ve been saying this a lot; but- DESCRIBE! Provide more descriptions to your readers. Manipulate the way they think with your words, that’s how you should write. Now descriptions and details can mean anything- ranging from one’s emotions, to their attire, surroundings, posture- and all of them are important. Good writing is not about adding descriptions here and there either. It’s about knowing when to add them and knowing when to cut it out.
Another thing I’d like to point out is that: you need not drag out words with extra syllables. Italics with one exclamation point at the end does it just fine. Keep that in mind. Also, avoid adding too many thoughts. Like, right now, from what I’ve read, the book is 70% thoughts and 30% actual writing.
Your vocabulary is quite strong, but you can work on it a tad bit more. At some points, you had the right idea, but used the wrong word instead; or, you could’ve just used better words to make the idea seem more plausible. For instance, the term ‘fragrance’ is usually used for perfumes, flowers or other such items. Using the term for food isn’t ‘wrong’ but doesn’t go that well, you know? Terms like ‘aroma’, ‘flavor’ etc, fits better.

Grammar :: 13/20

Ah, both you and I know that you got tons to improve here.
Starting with the ellipsis. Not gonna lie, the number of times you used them kind of pissed my eyes off.
Using them is not ‘wrong’, you know? But don’t use them unnecessarily. Use full stops more often. Break sentences up. Put a pause to it by using commas. It gets kind of irky when you use ellipsis too much. Not only that, man you need to brush up on your punctuations. You almost never use commas where they are needed. Same goes for full stops.
Then, the usage of extra exclamation marks. Avoid it at all costs. It’s both grammatically incorrect and kind of ruins the flow. Similarly, when you use a question mark and an exclamation mark together, you use the question mark first and then use the exclamation mark. Not the other way around. Be careful!
Lastly, pay heed to the tenses you use. I know it’s a bit hard but take your time with it. Don’t rush into completing chapters. If you decide to write in present tense, you might as well stick to it. Don’t switch to past in between and then switch back again.

TOTAL :: 67.5/100