Seesaw Review Shop 2.0

My Anpanman

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M

y Anpamam
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Author :: SeokJins_Yeonin_rh

Reviewer :: Kim_eats

First impression :: 13/20

Cover :: 8/10
The cover looks really good. It is eye-catching and it matches the book's vibe; rich, mysterious and dangerous. However, for some reason it looks kind of empty. Maybe if the author’s name is more visible, it might change but I liked the cover very much.

Title :: 3/5
Usually, I wouldn't advise anyone to use song names for the title of the book, but you kind of modified it and it catches the readers' eye, intriguing them enough along with the cover to read the blurb. So, I’d say good job in that despite the title not being the most aboriginal or unique. It matches the story well and is relevant.

Blurb :: 2/5
Including dialogues in the blurb always helps attract the attention of readers. However, you simply copy pasted a scene from the book and though it kind of captures the essence of everything, it is also a little vague and revealing at the same time. I would definitely suggest you to write something better for the blurb, something that sparks up interest without being so revealing. Like, you could include the topic of Jin’s secret while being an idol and it could work too. In the end, it's your decision if you want to change it or not.

Beginning of new start :: 5/10

To be completely honest, the first impression had my hopes sky high but what I got after opening the book didn't match my expectations. Of course, not everyone is perfect and we are all just learning, so I'll be honest here in my review. The very first thing that I noticed was the lack of research. I know it's a fanfic and no one will go into much detail but as a writer, it's your responsibility to do as much research about what you are writing. For example, Harvard is in Massachusetts and not in Los Angeles. Then, the next is how Bighit shifted to LA. I guess you changed that a little bit for the sake of your story but it would have been better if you mentioned it in the beginning to avoid confusion.

The first chapter, I have to say, fooled me into thinking Mayesha was still a student after 5 years, especially after the encounter with one of her friends. There was a lot of fourth wall breaking and while it is cool in certain cases, if you use it way too much, as if the mc is talking to the readers instead of narrating their feelings and situations from their perspective, the readers get disconnected from the story and characters easily. It is very important to make your readers feel connected to the characters if you want your book to be a good read.

The random conversation of Mayesha with her brain was kind of off putting. Everything done in moderation is always enjoyable but when it gets repetitive, it gets boring, and the reader might lose interest. Also, the book is in the first person point of view, so I don't think there is a need for the main character to suddenly say, ‘it is weird, I thought’. It could be simply, ‘it is weird’. The random bold and italics were really unnecessary because the stress on certain words like 'fat' and 'thin' wasn't necessary. Using bold and italics can change the meaning of the whole sentence, so use it cautiously.

Apart from that, the book seemed to be quite fast paced and oftentimes confusing. Like the sudden mention of the Dicken brothers and then their connection with EXO. It was not only fast paced but also confusing. I had to read that certain paragraph more than once to completely comprehend it. So, you should be cautious about that too. Like generating a steady buildup to the story but it's all happening really fast and one after another. It's hard to make sense.