Be my Teacher

45 9 3
                                    

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Be my Teacher
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Author :: JiminLemonade

Reviewer :: Taebaetae74

First Impression :: 12.5/20

» Cover :: 06/10

The cover is not bad. But the font of the title doesn’t go with the cover at all. You could’ve centralized them too. If not, maybe increase the size of the text and place it a bit more to the side. Also, the overall look of the cover isn’t really appealing. I guess it’s the a-bit-too-much blur of the background.

» Title :: 03/05

It’s . . . not bad? I mean, yes it does suit the book. But, the name is just so common. Usually, when a person comes across a common title, they tend to skip it if they’re looking for a good book, you know? And that’d be a shame ‘cause I think the book is written amazingly.

» Blurb :: 03.5/05

The description was good except for an error in the spelling of ‘enroll’ & a couple of punctuational & article-based errors. For instance, in the sentence ‘She enrols in the local high school for her last year’, it should’ve been ‘a’ local high school & of course, ‘enrolls’. I also feel like you use a lot of commas. Other than that, the synopsis was okay. However, I think you can improvise the blurb a tad bit more, you know? It seems more of a summary than a blurb. Other than that, I liked it.

Beginning of a new start :: 08/10

The first couple of chapters were beautiful. But, I kind of feel that you elongate incidents a lot, you know? I have explained this under the ‘Tone & Style’ category. Other than that, it was good. The way everything builds up is appreciable.

Concept & Plot :: 23/25

I’ll just start by saying that you did an amazing job at building the plot into the main theme. Most of the R rated books I’ve read (I swear I’m not an extremely horny person) are very rushed right to the smut. They use the first part as just an excuse that there was a ‘plot’ while the rest of the book falls into smut. But your book and its plot were pretty meaningful. The concept is, well, interesting at the least (I’ll stop). The part I like the most is that even though this book is mainly about their relationship, there’s that clear want to achieve Willow’s dreams. Beautiful actually. And it kind of bugs me that some people don’t see that.

Characters & Emotions :: 14/15

Loved all ‘em characters. The build in character is noticeable and the way you’ve given each character its own spotlight is appreciable. I honestly love the name ‘Willow’ and her way of thinking too. Although I’m not a big fan of first person POVs (‘cause I feel like that cannot deliver all kinds of thoughts and ideas conveniently), I liked the book.

Moving on to the emotions conveyed, I think you did a fairly good job. You have to improvise the writing style a bit more but other than that, I really liked it.

Tone & Style :: 08/10

Ah well, I must say that you have a beautiful way of writing. It’s only that you describe a tad bit too much. Writing isn’t about how well and often you can describe; it’s about knowing when to add in and when to cut it out. So I think you need to work on that. As of now, I feel like the writing style was slightly shadowing the good plot & book. I got nothing to say about tones ‘cause I think you did well. You only need to improve in terms of delivery.

Grammar :: 16/20

I found little to no errors in the grammar and tenses used. Like I mentioned above, pay a tad bit more attention to the articles you use. Don’t mix up between ‘the’ and ‘a/an’, because yes, there’s a difference between the two and they change meanings drastically.

I found most of the errors in punctuations. I feel that you use too many commas. Again, I mentioned this above. Break sentences when you have to and use hyphens when you talk about something relevant to the topic, but not the sentence. Then, dialogues. When you finish a certain line of indirect speech and it ends with a full stop, make sure to use a comma rather than the full stop. That is, only if the sentence isn’t complete just yet. This especially applies in cases where you use dialogue tags. For instance, let’s take the last sentence in the first chapter. “As I’ll ever be.” I smile.

Here, you were to use a comma rather than a period after ‘be’.

Other than these, you’re good to go.

TOTAL: 81.5/100

5/100

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