┌────────═━┈┈━═────────┐ Seesaw Review Shop Season 2.0 └────────═━┈┈━═────────┘
The right place to get honest and constructive feedback on your books whenever you want it. Everyone is welcome and we really hope...
The picture you used for the cover is very beautiful, really aesthetic, the effects and all but the thing is it doesn't suit the theme of the story. It doesn't fit the setting, I'd say. The font looks lazy. It's like you did it with Snapchat, really. The title gives away the story too much. It's like summarization of your book in two words. I suggest you pick an element from your book and name your book based on that. Moving to the blurb, it's just bad. It's all wrong. Please understand how to use tenses. The use of tenses must be consistent throughout the book. You can't just hop on. There are a lot of grammatical errors too. I'm just saying "You heard about arrange marriage but did you ever heard about being lovers? No, right!" could be "I'm pretty sure you've heard of arranged marriages but have you ever heard of arranged lovers?".
Changing up your blurb could help you a /lot/ when it comes to gaining readers next to covers. So, please change your blurb. Feel free to dm me if you need some help with it too, I'd be happy to help!
Beginning of a new start :: 7/10
From the first impression, I expected your first chapter to start with y/n waking up, dressing up, blah, blah, blah, you know, the usual but I really like how you started the book. It started in the middle and progressed fast as you wanted to develop the relationship between y/n and jk, I'm guessing. The start was good, the first three chapters moved fast but I feel like there was no build to it, I couldn't feel the structure. It just happened. I suggest you try to build the scenes more and just slow down sometimes. Also, huge wars between countries don't end in two days. Not even in fiction. Please add some realistic elements to your book, it'd help it so much.
Concept and plot :: 10/25
I've not seen this plot in books around Wattpad but I certainly have seen it in so many Indian soap operas. It's very common, both in Indian movies and soap operas so nothing new. It's fast paced but I understand cause you need to develop y/n and jk's relationship. I think you should've just started with just jk and y/n instead of the scenes with Tae. It would've made the readers curious as they wouldn't know why y/n and jk became arranged lovers. It would've helped with the pacing of the story too.
Characters and emotions :: 7/15
Well, I couldn't really feel what the characters felt cause like I mentioned earlier, the build isn't the best. I recently read somewhere that the more you know your characters, the better the book is. Think of them as someone real, describe them, their outer appearance as well as how they are at heart. The little details matter so much, like how someone bites the inside of their cheeks when they wanna control their anger or when someone scratches their nails against their bracelets when they're nervous. Small things like that make big difference. Understand your characters and just let it flow. Learn them. Think of them as a stranger you met. Imagine yourself becoming friends with them. How would they act? What are the things you'd notice? How'd they looked? How'd they reacted to things? Emotional connectivity between the reader and the characters is an important thing. Work on it, please.
Tone and style :: 8/10
Let me be honest, I could clearly sense that that was your first book but hey, you've got some potential! I've come across worse books and yours is so much better. Even though, as a reviewer I've gotta be brutally honest, I have to say that you've tried. I can see the effort you put in there. I just feel like you haven't found your style yet. It feels like you've been inspired by other fanfictions. I think you should start reading actual books or just better books in general. That'd help you with your development a lot.
Grammar :: 7/20
It was not very good. There were a lot of mistakes. Mostly tenses. You become better with time but I think you should just browse and learn anyway. Those dots you add, they're called ellipsis. They're to be used in three and only in three. Only three dots, not more. If you use past tense, make sure everything throughout is in the past tense, if it's present, then make sure everything throughout is in the present tense. I still don't know in what tense you wanted your book to be. Please learn as you go on, make time for this, and for now, I think you definitely should get an editor.
Advice:: You'll improve with time so keep writing! Read as much as you can as reading is the key to writing. Get an editor, a new cover, give your book a little makeover, change up that blurb a little, add a little length to your chapters. I'm sure your book would turn out well in the future!
Total :: 45/100
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