┌────────═━┈┈━═────────┐ Seesaw Review Shop Season 2.0 └────────═━┈┈━═────────┘
The right place to get honest and constructive feedback on your books whenever you want it. Everyone is welcome and we really hope...
First Impression :: 9/20 » Cover :: 5/10 The cover was not so bad but wasn’t so good either. The picture used was too blurry. The fonts used could’ve been different too. The elements just didn’t go well together. Other than that, it was all good. » Title :: 2/5 Actually, you could’ve chosen a title that would catch more eyes, you know? Right now, it doesn’t tell anything about the book other than the obvious fact that it revolves around romance. » Blurb :: 2/5 If I’m being completely honest, I did not find the synopsis interesting. It could simply be due to the lack of description. The line ‘Love is never easy, and for...’ is really common. I have read that in almost every beginner’s book of romance. I’m not saying that it’s bad. But, when you write, make sure to deliver something different. If what you have to deliver is not different, deliver it in a different way. When you come to think of it, it isn’t so hard if you spend more time thinking over the layout of the book- that includes the synopsis. Also, in my opinion, the structure of the synopsis was clumsy. The first line should’ve been in quotes. The blurb doesn’t tell me anything about the characters except for the fact that the possible leads are best friends. And actually, I think it would be better if the synopsis could exclude the question part from it. I mean look, the answer to it is obvious. The whole point of the book is that she cannot avoid it forever. So yeah...
Beginning of a new start :: 6/10 The beginning is not so bad. If I’m being frank, I wouldn’t continue reading it after the first two to three chapters because of the writing style. The narration perspective just did not do it for me; but then again, it could just be my opinion. I feel like I’ve been saying this too much but you give a lot of unnecessary information. The way the information was provided wasn’t really ‘attention-absorbing’, you know? Another thing I noticed was the fact that you rarely use full stops. Sentences, questions, demands- all of them were pushed in as one sentence. Editing them would be a good idea.
Concept and plot: 20/25 Actually, I like the concept and plot. It’s cute (Though I’m really mad at you for making the female lead suffer. Like damn, let her live and make Tori the third wheel. But nah, Tori is sweet-) I have read similar stories before, but you did well. Just some errors here and there. I have mentioned them in this review; so hopefully, it’ll help you
Characters and emotions: 10/15 To be honest, I liked the characters. The way you’ve given each character its own spotlight is appreciable. Couldn’t catch much on the character development but based on what I’ve read so far, I’m sure it will be there. The issue is the emotions. I feel that you haven’t gotten there yet. You describe them well, but not when it comes to emotions. At least the relevant ones. You know what I’m trying to say? Describe the thoughts more. Tell the readers about your characters through the descriptions. Beauty lies in the details, but not the unnecessary ones, hm?
Tone and style :: 4/10 If I am to talk about the writing style, then it was not bad. Just that, I don’t know... something doesn’t sit right with it. The way you’ve written it makes it seem like diary entries. You write in past tense but then you add thoughts of the narrator and make it seem like it is happening presently. If you decide to write in past tense, you might as well stick to it. Changing it here and there may confuse your readers. At many points, you add in too much information that is completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. You steer off track. Next, the descriptions. Like I already mentioned above, you describe too much. Do not provide unnecessary information. Keep it straight to the point, but at the same time, have ‘that way’ around your words. I also noticed that you don’t describe when it comes to plot-building scenes, you know? Pay heed to descriptions more. Instead of conveying time skips separately (as in mentioning them like ‘a few hours later’ etc), include them within the paragraphs. Like ‘A few hours had passed...’ You should also try avoiding abbreviated forms of words (like ‘OK’ instead of ‘okay’ etc). Use the full word. Online or not, try writing the book like how an actual book would be written. You’re doing good, but you're not there just yet.
Grammar :: 16/20 Let’s start with the punctuation marks. I’m curious about something though. Why do you not use full stops? I’m not mocking you or anything; I’m just curious. You almost only use full stops when a paragraph meets its end. Don’t do that. Use a full stop rather than a comma when a sentence ends. Use commas only when a sentence needs a pause in between. Other than that, it was fine.
Extra Note :: Don’t hesitate to hit my DMs up if you have any doubts or queries regarding this review! Hope it helped you
Total :: 65/100
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