When I met you.. ||(completed)||

Chapter 33

Ethan's POV:

I walked into my room and that was when it all hit me, I hurt her, I broke her, I yelled at her, I made her cry, I was rough and emotionless, what did I do?

I went into the shower and recalled the events of the day, I remembered Jane's broken face as she danced, and that was what put me off.

The scene kept replaying in my head for the whole evening I knew it was too real, and when she asked about Corey and Brandon, I lost it. They went through so much but so did she, I put all of the guilt I felt towards them into her, she didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve me.

I walked out and got dressed, I kept thinking that maybe if I went and apologized, maybe told her everything, things will go back to the way they were, but I couldn't. The memories held too much pain and I wasn't ready to say anything.

I went to my bed and tried to sleep but I couldn't, the next morning, I woke up to see Jane laying in the hallway, sweating and panting heavily.

I held her up and she was burning up.

"Why didn't you get her to her bed?!" I yelled, calling out for everyone.

Soon, they all realized what was happening as they saw her laying in my arms. Their faces went from shocked to furious and they just ran to Jane's side.

"Don't you dare yell at us! You were with her the whole night and didn't even bother checking up on her!! We literally slept on the couch, we knew nothing but you did!" Corey yelled as his eyes showed pure rage.

"We should call a doctor" Beth suggested while I carried Jane to her room.

On her bed, there were papers and notes everywhere, filled with small sentences in her beautiful handwriting.

*Beth doesn't like spicy food! Don't forget that!

*Brandon loves call of duty! Learn how to play it!

*Corey loves sour candy! Make sure to get it for him!

*Don't ask Brandon and Corey about their twin situation! It might be trauma related! Try and ask Ethan instead, he seems like he cares for you so he'll tell you!

*Ethan didn't get over his anger issues! Don't take anything he does while angry seriously and forgive him cause he deserves it cause he's really nice and sweet and adorable!

*Work on your balance! It's still not good enough!

*Corey loves performing card tricks! Make sure to learn all about them!

*look for your brother, he's most likely out there, he doesn't hate you, I'm sure....

Tears started falling down my cheeks as we all read her notes, there were other ones that held all of the information about us and herself, showing how much she cared, she did everything in her power and more to be good to us, she dealed with her own demons all by herself, never asking anyone for help but helping everyone else, she told herself the words she needed to hear.

My heart shattered into a million pieces as Corey picked up the notes, a couple of tears running down his cheek, I put her down and wanted to call the doctor but I felt a hand grab my arm.

"I'm fine, don't call anyone"

I quickly whipped my head to the side to see Jane sitting up, clenching her head as I assume she had a headache.

"You need a doctor" Beth said as her voice broke, she was silently crying as Brandon tried to hide his tears.

"No I don't, don't worry I'll be fine, I just need to rest a bit" Jane replied, smiling.

"Stop it! Stop smiling when you're not happy! Stop smiling when you're not okay!" I said before I could stop my words, my head held down and when I looked up, I was met with Jane's blank expression.

"What do you expect me to do then? Cry? Yell? Get angry? Shut myself away from everyone? Hate the whole world along with myself? Play victim and drown in an endless cycle of being miserable? You don't get get to comment on my coping mechanism when yours is yelling, throwing punches and hurting people"

Her words were calm, she showed no anger, no remorse, no pain, it's like she was numb to everything and everyone.

"I'm gonna fall asleep now, I have a performance tomorrow and I don't wanna pass out in the middle of it" she continued, pulling the covers over her head and turning to the wall.

We all walked out to give her some space but as soon as we reached the living room, Brandon tackled me to the ground.

"You're gonna tell us everything that happened yesterday" he threatened, anger obvious on his features.

After I was done catching them up in what happened last night, I felt a strong punch connect to my face as I stumbled to the ground.

"You could've just told her for fuck's sake, what the hell is wrong with your head?!"

Corey went completely ballistic and it really threw me off, I've known for never showing anger and for remaining calm during all kinds of situations.

That's when I realized, I really messed up.

"I can't tell her, it's all my fault" I said quietly.

"So you're literally telling me that your guilt justifies hurting her more than she already is when it's not even your fault and you're giving yourself too much credit?! Am I hearing this right?" Beth said, in a deadly tone.

Before I could say anything we heard grunting from Jane's room and it was soon followed by a door slamming and liquid pouring.

I immediately knew she was throwing up and as everyone got up running to her room we saw her sitting next to the toilet, covering her eyes with the back of her hands.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's okay, my stomach is just a little upset cause I had a panic attack last night" she replied.

And like she realized what she just said she removed her hands from her eyes that were wide open but it was too late, there was denying it.

How did things turn out this way?
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Soooo.... What do you guys think? I can't just pretend I didn't introduce a huge dilemma in my story so I'll leave everything at that. See you in the next chapter!

-Alexandra Banger