The Housekeeper [h.s.]

Conflicted Heartbreaks

Lucy's POV:

There he was. His curls as messy as ever. His fingers as steady as ever. His pink lips as velvety as ever. Him, as peaceful as ever.

The nurse walked out of the room as I sat down in the chair next to Harry. I scrunched my nose by the smell. Hospitals had never appeared to me as something good. I mean, obviously they could be both good and bad. They could take lives, or they could give lives. It could be a graveyard, or someone's birthplace. In my case, the hospitals were only the bad parts. No good had ever appeared to me there. They kept ripping my heart apart, leaving me alone, broken.

At this point, I really hoped it was the good parts.

I felt kind of awkward speaking to him. To all of them. Like, I knew they couldn't hear me anyway. So what was the point? To get them to wake up? To get them to listen? To educate them on how much you love them and miss them? No. That's a lie. People know very well that they can't hear you. The only reason people are doing that, is for themselves, and only them. They feel better somehow, and they feel a sudden comfort that nobody else can give them. So maybe that's the point. It was just stupid in my eyes.

But either way I did it.

"Hey, Harry" I began, and I could already feel the discomfort and awkwardness sneaking up on me.

"I don't know why I'm doing this, or even why anyone does this. It's not like you can hear me or anything, right?"

He kept his body still and didn't answer. I realized that my question wasn't rethorical. Somewhere deep inside of me there was a hope that he would answer. How foolish of me to even allow the thought inside my mind.

"I'm not going to hold one of those speaches where I tell you how much I love you, and how much I miss you, because you already know. But then again, it's not like I can't say it again just because you know that I love you, because I was gonna tell you everyday for the rest of your life. I am going to."

My voice was getting weaker and weaker for every word that came out of my mouth. I was unsure if I was going to keep talking to him, or just sit and watch him all day. He didn't look his very best, but it was still him. Still Harry.

"Because you're gonna be okay, babe. You'll be just fine. Your goodness inspires me, and gives me hope that whatever god is up there, He won't take you from me. He can't. I've already lost too many, and I can't lose you too."

A lonely, silent tear ran down my cheek. It would get company if I let myself, but I wasn't going to. I needed to stay strong for the rest of the boys. For Harry. So therefor I decided that the visitation was over, and it was time for me to leave.

I kissed Harry softly on his cheek, wanting to just shake him back to life and hold him and kiss him. But I couldn't. I opened the door half-heartedly, and went out whilst I watched Harry lie there one last time. The nurse spotted me and walked over to me, as the boys tilted their heads up.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" She asked with a sweety-sweet, honey-bunny voice.

Yeah, my boyfriend's unconscious. I'm great!

I just nodded and went with her annoying question. After all, she was just trying to be nice.

"Okay, so it's written here that Harry can have one more visitor, and the family, or in this case you," she said and spoke towards me.

"can deside which one of them can visit him."

My eyes gazed over the boys. They were all looking at me with eager, except Louis. He was looking away, and I could spot a dry tear on his cheek.

"Louis" I said.

His head quickly tilted up to look at me. He stood up from the bench, still surprised that I chose him.

"And you are...?" The nurse asked Louis as he walked towards the door with desperation in his eyes.

"Uhm, I'm his b-"

My eyes widened at the letter b.

"His bestfriend. I'm his bestfriend."

I silently breathed out, relieved. If he was gonna say the b-word I thought he was, and just saved himself there, I didn't know. And I chose not to worry about it, because after all Harry was my boyfriend.

He nodded against me with a slight smile in the corner of his mouth, before he walked in to Harry. I couldn't help but feel a small sting of jealousy, although I had just been in there.

I got a sudden urge for coffee that I couldn't really explain, it just got to me. Liam motioned for me to sit down next to him, so I did.

"Come here" he said when I had sat myself down with him, and embraced me.

A hug. That was exactly what I needed at this point. His warm, strong arms held around me. I buried my face into his shoulders and embraced him too. Liam was such a good friend, and there weren't anyone I wanted to hug more right now than him. His hug felt so comforting and healing. Not like a dull, weak hug like some people gave, but a proper hug. The way they should be. Fulfilling the purposes of hugs.

"But can I ask why you picked Louis?" He said and slowly pulled away, making sure I was ready to let go of the hug.

"I thought you didn't like him."

I looked down. "I don't."

"Then why did you pick him? It's not that I am mad at you for picking him instead of me or anything, I'm just curious" he said carefully.

My eyes went up to him again, as I felt a tear run down my cheek slowly. "Because Harry likes him."