Chapter 43

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(Warning: mention of suicide in this chapter)

"You're gonna tell me?" I asked him.

He nodded his head. "Yes. I'm going to tell you what happened last year, but before I do that, I'm going to tell you how it all started."

I nodded my head and bit my lip. Brian got me off his lap and laid me down. He lays down next to me and runs his hand through my hair.

"Last September, I started to go out with a guy named Elliott." That explains it. "He's from Red Lake Falls. We started to hangout during the summer when we were both working for a daycare."

It kind of bothered me that Brian had a boyfriend before we met. I tried to push the jealousy down so I won't get him really upset.

"We were only working there for the summer, and we really hit it off. I didn't even know he was gay until we had our first kiss."

"May I ask how that happened?" I asked, balling his shirt in my fist.

"Well, we were at a football game, waiting for it to start. Elliot took me aside and told me he had to give me something, so we walked away from the game. When I asked him what he wanted, he smiled and said, 'This'. He then kissed me. I never thought he was gay until that happened. When he pulled back from me, I asked him why he did that. He told me he had feelings for me ever since I started to work with him. He didn't think I liked him back, so he had to kiss me just to make sure. I then kissed him back until we heard Michelle and Kalani looking for us."

I let go of his shirt and traced his arm as he continued, "That's when we started going out. We didn't go out in public much because Elliot didn't come out yet."

"How come?" I asked.

"He just wasn't ready."

"Oh."

"One day, we were making out in my pickup and these three guys saw us and started to taunt us."

"Taunt you how?"

"By calling us homophobic names."

I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him closer to me. "I'm sorry, Brian," I said.

"It's fine," he said.

"No, Brian. It's not fine," I said. "They shouldn't be calling you names like that; it's unacceptable."

"I know." He pulled away from me. "We drove away as quickly as we could. Things were kind of okay with us for a few days."

"What happened?" I asked.

"I noticed there was something different about him: he wasn't talking, smiling, and wasn't eating much. I thought it was because his grandmother had just passed away that week, so I just brushed it off."

"What did she die from?" I asked.

"I don't know. She died in her sleep."

"Anything else that was going on with him?" I asked.

"Well, he wasn't getting enough sleep; he was getting worse whenever I saw him. Still, I thought it had something to do with his grandma's death and I thought he'll get over it."

I realized that he was dealing with depression, but I don't think it had something to do with his grandma's death- it's probably something else.

"One day, we were hanging out, he keeps getting these text messages. When I asked him who was texting him, he said his parents. But I can tell by the look on his face that it's something else. So I asked him again and he lashed out at me, telling me to mind my own fucking business and left me alone. He apologized to me a couple of days later, telling me he's still upset about his grandma's death, but it had only been a month after she died."

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