As Brian continues to cry, I thought about everything that happened in the past three months. The first two times that Brian touched me and we had our first kiss, he was thinking about Elliott. The one time Gabriella pushed me into my locker, he was scared that I was hurt. And when we were watching Brokeback Mountain, and he told me not to leave him, it was probably because he was afraid what happened between Jack and Ennis would happen with us. And now, he's over here because he thinks I'm going to kill myself like Elliott did.
"Brian, are you okay now?" I asked.
"A little." He pulls away from me. "Sorry, I just..."
I placed my finger on his mouth, silencing him. "It's fine. Sometimes it's okay to cry and talk about your feelings."
"Honestly, I never thought I would tell you what happened until what Malcom posted." He wiped his tears away.
"Brian, did you come over here because you thought I was going to kill myself?" I asked him.
He nodded his head.
"Oh, Brian..." I wished I knew what to say to comfort him, but I had no idea what to say. I wanted to tell him he can't focus on the past and focus on the present like I did with Gabriella and Xavier, but this one was different—well, a little bit different from Xavier's situation, but Brian's old boyfriend killed himself.
"Brian, I'm not going to kill myself because of one post. I'm not Elliott." He looks up at me with a pained look on his face. Fuck, I shouldn't have said that. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. But did you look at the comments?
He shook his head.
I grabbed my computer and went onto Facebook. "Here." I scooted closer to him. "Take a look."
Brian looked at the comments. I could've sworn I saw a little smile on his face.
"You see. They're all nice comments." I took the computer from him. "You don't have to worry about me." I went onto his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. "It's just…I just wish you wouldn't compare the two of us."
"I know, but it's hard."
"Oh, Brian. I…I mean…Oh, I just wish I knew what to say to make you feel better."
"I don't think you can, Chris."
I looked into his eyes; they are filled with sadness, but I can feel they're also filled with something else that I can't quite put my finger on.
I can feel him lifting my shirt up a little and he started to trace my stomach with his finger, which almost made me shiver.
"Whoa, Brian," I said.
"Anything else happened today?" he asked.
"I came out to my parents," I said.
"Really? Were they surprised? Upset?"
"No actually, because they knew I was gay before I came out."
"Really?" He has a surprised look on his face.
"Yeah. Can you believe that?"
"Actually, I can't. How did they know?"
"Um, just from the two of us hanging out." I'm not telling him about Chris Evans.
"Huh. That's interesting."
"Parents. They know everything, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess they do."
I traced my finger over his cheek, causing him to shiver. He leaned to my shoulder and nuzzled his head on it before resting it there.
As we both sat there, I thought of something else that I had to ask him that I hoped he would answer.
"Brian, can I ask you something?" I asked.
"What is it?"
"That picture...that your aunt Laurie gave you...What is it a picture of?"
Brian sighed. "It was a picture of me and Elliott. It was taken a couple of weeks before his suicide."
I ran my hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Brian. How could she do that?"
"Because she thought it would make me happy."
"What a bitch."
"Chris, that's my aunt." He looked up at me.
"I know, but she wouldn't have given it to you if she knew how you would feel about it."
Brian sighed and put his head back on my neck. I put my hand on the back of his head and kissed the top of it.
Poor Brian. I can't imagine how he feels about this. I wish I could do something to help him, but what? I don't know anybody that went through this, so I don't know what to do to help him. It's hard to move on sometimes. I don't know why that is. You just want to get over it, but that's impossible.
I felt Brian kissing and sucking on my neck. He grabbed my hair as he continued.
"Brian?" I said.
He laid me back on the bed and lifted my shirt up to my chest, tracing his hands back down on my stomach. I groaned and placed my hands behind my head. He leans down to my stomach and places a kiss. I took in a sharp breath as he placed another one.
"Fuck, Chris. Do you work out?"
"Um, no."
"Really? Because you look fit."
"Um, thanks."
He smiled at me. "No problem." He went back to kissing my stomach.
I gasped when he used his tongue on me. God, I love that tongue. I love how it feels and how he uses it.
He stopped there and looked up at me. I looked at him confusingly, wondering why he stopped. He got on his knees and bit on his lip.
I know what happened: Eliott must've come into his mind. I should say something, but I might tick him off.
"So, how are you feeling right now?" I asked.
He yawns. "A little tired."
"Yeah, I bet." I looked at the time. 12:30. "Come on. Let's go to bed."
I went to the head of the bed and pulled the covers back. We laid down, with me pulling the covers over us. Brian scooted over to me and rested his head on my chest. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and kissed the top of his head.
"You think you can sleep?" I asked him.
"I'm not sure if I could," he said.
"Just sleep, okay? I'll be here with you all night."
"Promise?"
"I promise." I started to hum a wordless tune until I'm sure Brian fell asleep; he's so beautiful, he can be an angel.
Don't worry, Brian, I thought. Everything is going to be okay. I'll help you through this. You'll wait and see.
♥️♥️♥️
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Highschool Sweethearts (Boyxboy)
Romance14 year old Christopher Carrera moved to a new town with his family to live with his grandfather after the death of his grandmother. He has to start his freshman year at his new school. On his first day, he made new friends and enemies, and meets Br...
