Purposely accidental

Lacey

I am broken, shamed, lying naked on the floor. No, wait? Aren't those the lyrics to torn? I flick through my phone and find the song on YouTube. I listen to the words and cry some more. Close enough to how I feel right now. How could I let myself go there with Ash? I was comfortable in loving him from afar, but now that I let myself be with him I know I want more. And he can't give me that. I am so freaking stupid. I feel really shitty.

I wait till after midday to call the only person who might be able to empathise with me. I dial Juliet's number and wait for her to pick up.

"Hey Lace! How was the rest of your night?"

"I'll tell you after you tell me about you and Tommy!" I gush.

"Oh my gosh girl! He is amazing with a capital A. He is seriously packing and damn, he knows how to use it!"

"Oh my gosh Jules TMI!"

Jules laughs hysterically through the phone. "You asked and I delivered."

"How did the morning after go? Any weirdness?"

"No. We had a few more rounds before he finally left an hour ago. Man's got stamina, let me tell you!"

"Wow, really?"

"Yep! And he is taking me out for dinner tonight. Isn't that great!"

"Yeah... So great," I say in an unenthusiastic tone.

"Okay... What's up with you? I know something is wrong because you would normally be shouting from the rooftops about me having a date."

"I did something bad last night..."

"Okay. Whatever it was we can fix it!"

"Really? You can go back in time and make it so Ash and I didn't sleep together and have his arse run home this morning? Can you fix that?"

Jules screams down the phone and I hold it away from my ear before I go completely deaf. "HOLY SHIT GIRL! Freaking finally! Wait... He ran out on you?"

"Sort of... He was freaking out so I told him to just leave. You should have seen how quickly he grabbed his clothes. He made me look away to get dressed, like I hadn't seen it all last night!"

"Girl that is fucked up! What are you going to do?"

"Nothing. Ignore him for a bit, then pretend like it never happened."

"That won't work and you know it. You've wanted to be with Ash since forever!"

"No I haven't. I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Girl please! We all know it. The only ones who don't know is you and Ash. Seriously!"

"What!?! Really?"

"Mmhmm. We make a new bet every year..."

"Shit! I feel so betrayed..." I mumble.

"It's not like that. We can all see you guys care about each other and you would be perfect together. Can you imagine how gorgeous your babies would be? Genetics lottery I tell ya!"

I laugh at the absurdity. "Yeah right. Well based on how he acted, none of that will ever happen. He made me feel so used Jules..."

"Oh honey... Do you want me to come around? We can eat junk and just wallow. I can meet up with Tommy some other time."

"No way! I am not interfering with your date. You go, have a good time and tell me all about it. PG version only please!"

"PG... Pffft. You're no fun!"