Purposely accidental

Lacey

                    "Holy shit!" Jules shouts. "So that just happened..."

"Uh...yup," I say with confusion as I run through what Ash just said.

Holy crap! He just went there...

"I can't believe he finally admitted how he feels about you. We've been hassling him for years and with me in the room no less."

"Yeah he has been telling me how he feels since we slept together, not this deep though."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. You certainly get a different Ash then the rest of us get. He doesn't talk about his feelings much at all, just surface stuff really," Jules comments.

"Well, I am the bestie. Plus going through puberty and all that shit kind of forges a deep bond you know?"

"I know what kind of bond he wants to forge," Jules cackles as she winks saucily at me.

"Oh shut up!" I join in on her laughter.

"So Ash is the father of the baby?" I nod as she continues. "And Kevin? What the hell was that?"

I shrug. "Who the fuck knows honestly. I took a few days apart after the appointment last week as he was accusing me of something going on with Ash and he was smothering me a lot. I didn't realise how long I hadn't seen you guys and I began to feel lonely and isolated. So I spent a few days away from him."

"Did you spend it with Ash?"

My eyes dart around the room and Jules stares me down until I cave. "Yeah I did. We talked about it and he said he would wait for me if I want to pursue things or simply be helpful with the baby, whether he was the father or not. It was nice and relaxed. Unlike the tense atmosphere with Kev lately."

"Did anything happen between you two?"

Shit!

"Yes... No... Maybe?" I murmur hesitantly.

Jules laughs. "What the hell does that mean? You should see your face! You look so confused!"

"Well something kinda, sorta happened. But it wasn't cheating... Technically..."

"Oooh now I'm intrigued! Spill the tea girl!"

"There's nothing to spill really..." She arches her eyebrows at me and I roll my eyes. "Fine nosy arse!" Jules giggles and gestures for me to keep talking. "We masturbated in front of each other but under the table so we couldn't see."

"Damn girl! That's hot as fuck!"

I fan my face. "Yeah it really was. Ash makes the sexiest face when he comes. Like fire girl, pure fire. If I hadn't already been coming that would have sent me over the edge."

"Fuck! I so want to do that with Tommy, except watching him stroke himself for sure!"

"It was amazing but I still felt guilty. It was wrong, I was still with Kevin. We may not have touched each other, but it doesn't change the fact that I was intimate with someone while in a relationship with someone else. I feel dirty. I knew it was wrong but it was the lesser of two evils."

"Don't beat yourself up about it. You held back from sex any way you could. I get it. Plus you and Ash have been denying yourselves for way too long. Why did you think Kevin was so worried about him. He could see what we all see, you and Ash belong together."

"Still makes me a shitty human."

"Maybe, maybe not. Did you love Kevin?"

"I thought I maybe did."