When Izuku Remains To Not Give A Fuck

Fuck The Police

Quick A/N: These Chapters are edited and changed frequently so If something is different the second time you read it, that's normal.

Izuku's POV

So it's official, I want to die. I mean it already was, speaking as I've attempted suicide twice today, but today death is especially appealing. Fate just said fuck it today, and made it extra hard.

"A kid? What are you doing here?" A confused police person asked, as they should

"Hello, apparently I need to talk to a detective person? Atleast that's what the guy who dropped me off here said" I replied like I knew what the fuck I was doing

"Ok, I guess I'll bring you to detective Naomasa?"

Well that was too easy. WAIT FUCK! That's the bitch with the truth quirk. Anddddd we are already at his door. 

"Ok kid, knock a few times on here, I gotta get back to work."

WELL FUCK! SECOND BITCH TODAY TO DITCH ME WITH A KNOCK!

But I still knocked of course. I may be stupid, inconsiderate, bratty, and suicidal, but I still knock and close the door behind me when I leave a room. I'm not a monster.

And the bitch of my nightmares opened. 

"Well hello there kid. I'm assuming a coworker sent you here?"

"Why yes they did." I replied 

"Ok, come in and tell me your name and why you're here." 

He led me into a room, and sat me down at the table. It had one of those handcuff thingys they keep you lock in there, so I knew they weren't playing around. There were handcuffs on the desk as well, so I knew this was not gonna turn out good. Regardless, ima bad bitch with no sense of self preservation, so obviously I sat down and responded with

"Hello, my name is Ben Derhover, and I'm here because I like the emoji movie." 

"Dear god, just make my job easy and tell me your real name." He said, sounding all most as done with me as all might.

"Geez ok. I'm Izuku Midoriya, and I'm here because I've attempted suicide twice today and all might got worried." I said, completely truthful. 

"Ok, explain what happened up to today."

"Ok so my whole life i was thought quirkless, right? But I actually have a half decent quirk, I can only die of old age and I also get wings. Why was I assumed quirkless? Simple. Commissions a bitch and I don't wanna be kidnapped. Anyways today I just got back from hell- I mean school and was underneath a underpass. A slime Villian attacked me. I captured it in a bottle, all might appeared. I chucked a poke ball at him like any normal human would, then grabbed his leg as he blasted off. He got confused and told me to let go. And like any other suicidal maniac, I did. He caught me before I hit the rooftop that we were above, and scolded me. I told him a not so fun fact about seals and orcas, he told me people couldn't be heroes without quirks, I parkoured off the roof however once again I was not allowed to fall to my inevitable death. Then he brought me here. I can see why he was concerned, but I'm ok so ima just-"

Yea I knew it was a dumb idea to try to escape from the get go. So when I got handcuffed to the handcuff thing I was not exactly what you would call surprised. Though I did pull my signature 

"K i n k y" for good measure.

"What the hell is wrong with you, kid?" The detective asked

"Wait give me a second-" I began reaching in my bag, looking for something. I pulled out a small lighter and a huge list, though the lighter was not visible to him.

"Ok you wait the main subjects or whole list?"

"I'm good, thank you." The detective replied, somehow still polite. "Do you have any family numbers I can call to pick you up?"

"605-475-6968" I replied. He clearly doesn't know what I'm doing.

"I'm going to step out of the room to make this call, stay here." The detective said, fulfilling his words not a minute later.

So I set my actions into motion. I used the small lighter to burn through the cuffs, grabbed my stuff, and jumped out the open window.

As I was running into the distance, I couldn't help but think of the fact that I rejection hotlined a Japan renowned detective. I knew it would only take a few seconds for him to realize what happened after he came back inside the room, but I have things to do and places to be.

"DEKUUUUUUUU!"

Also apparently kacchans to evade.

That's another Wrap! Sorry I posted early without finishing, but I hope you enjoy this chapter, and have a good morning, afternoon, or night!