When Izuku Remains To Not Give A Fuck

The League Of No Dads

Hi guys, it's your favorite author with deteriorating faith in myself and humanity back at it again!

Izuku's POV:

So once I finally made it home, there was a note on my doorstep. Oh for fucks sake!

Dear Midori,

The league requests your presence, as for a business deal. If you wish to be a part of this, please be at York Park, underneath the only working street light, at 9:00pm. I hope to meet you.

-The League

It was 7, so I still had time. I walked in, only to see Himiko heading out at about the same time.

"Heya there, where you heading?"

"Over to a friends!" Ah yes, lies. Lies and deception.

"Alright. Be home by 10." You may be wondering: Izuku, Hunny, dumb bitch, why in the fuck would you let her go? Well because I was doing worse at younger.

So, when 9 rolled around, I was underneath the light, and a warp appeared. I hopped in.

"Hey guys, what the fuck is up?"

"So, player 2. We meet again."

"It seems that way doesn't it. Now, what members do you have in your party?"

"No one new, except for our Toga. She's new, just joined last year."

"Toga?"

"Oh shit."

"What the fuck?"

"Uh, I can explain?"

"I'm not mad, just disappointed, Himiko."

"Uh, you guys know eachother?"

"Yeah, that's my daughter/little sister."

"Izu-Nii I'm sorry for joining the league, and being a villain-"

"Oh that's not what I'm mad about, that would be hippocratic as fuck. I'm mad that you didn't tell me! Or even join my criminal empire! Betrayal at its finest. Fuck Kacchan, you just shot me in the goddamn heart."

"Brother, it appears we've fallen apart, and I hit you up with my utmost regret."

"You're really being the Azula to my Zuko."

"The Grunkle Stan to my Ford." 

"The Hamilton to my Eliza."

"Ouch my heart."

"Theres only one way for me to forgive you, Bestie."

"I'm aware."

"Do you know what comes before 47, Himiko?"

And to the amazement and horror of everyone else at the bar, I pulled a gun out of me knows where, and tossed it to Toga.

"AK."

And then she proceeded to shoot me, until the magazine ran out. And as a great brother would, I didn't move until she was done.

"H-how are you still alive?"

"I'M BULLETPROOF, NOTHING TO LOSE."

"Ok, Midori. Toga. It's clear you have an early affiliation with each other, but can we get back to the business meeting?"

"Oop, yeah sure. So whatcha need from me?"

"Your empire." I took in a deep breath

"What the frick frack diddly dack patty wack snick snack cracker pack slack Mack quarterback crackerjack biofeedback backtrack thumbtack sidetrack tic-tac do you mean, my empire?"

"We want it-"

"Yeah and I want to die, but neither of us are gonna get what we want for the next couple thousand years."

"I wasn't finished! Brat. We want it to help us kill Endeavor!"

"Hell fucking no."

"You like endeavor?"

"No, I hate him more than most people here, but I have plans, and I can't let you guys ruin them." I heard chicken nugget in the corner scoff.

"Yeah sure. Of course you have a deep rooted hatred for him, and you clearly aren't just saying that because you know a lot of blackmail on him-"

"Yeah mhm sure, keep talking shit Touya. He killed my big sister, who was the only one keeping me alive for years. So yeah, fuck the patriarchy, and have a good night." I said, yanking toga out of the bar with me.

"So like, why'd ya join?"

"Well after she died, you never were home, and I got bored. So boom, villainy."

"I can respect that."

"I'm glad you aren't mad at me."

"I'm not, just have 1 question."

"And those are?"

"Does Nem know?"

"Ahaha, sorry, gotta go mow my pool-"

"OH! YOU'RE GONNA BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" I said, running towards the house now.

"NO! DON'T TELL NEM YET! I'LL DO ANYTHING!"

"YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK, YOU'RE SO DEAD!"

"NO!"

I smiled and ran faster, bursting inside and locking the door behind me.

"NEM! TOGA IS A VILLAIN!"

"SHE'S A WHAT?!"

"YUP! AND NOT EVEN IN MY EMPIRE! FOR A YEAR NOW!"

At that moment Toga burst through the door. I only gave her a look of sympathy.

"Pick a god, preferably me, and start praying sister."

"Oh fuck."

And that night I went to sleep, thinking of one thing other than of dogs could taste something in water we couldn't. 

Maybe, just maybe, I'm getting over Aki.

That's a wrap! Have a good morning, afternoon, or night and I'll see you next time!