When Izuku Remains To Not Give A Fuck

That one time a underground hero became Number 1 for a hot sec

Izuku's POV:

"Heeeeey Eraserhead? So Nezu decided your fighting All Might. And if you win he gets you the best brand of coffee in bulk every week."

"When? Problem child."

"Hour. Now check your desk and read quick!" And I have never crawled through a vent faster. Luckily, through extensive spying, he did read it. And I have a lot of explaining to do later. But I got Bakugo to tell All Might on his part, so we are good. What they don't know, is I'm live streaming it to the world and Hero Commision. How? Let's just say I owe Mei another favor. 

When the fight happened.

SO I DID NOT EXPECT THE ENTIRETY OF UA TO BE HERE

But Nemuri ain't raise no bitch, so I started the stream.

"HELLO JAPAN! THIS IS GREEN AND YOU ARE WATCHING THE BATTLE FOR NUMBER ONE! THIS IS ALLMIGHT AGAINST UNDERGROUND HERO ERASERHEAD! BEGIN!" I am so getting my ass whooped for this one.

The fight begun, and tbh, from the beginning, All Bitch stood no chance. Aizawa instantly started whooping him with the scarf, then physically with hand to hand mowing him into the ground. All Ass got a hit or two in, but fuck that, this is some sweet tea. And by 5 minutes in, Eraser had him backed up against the boundaries, at the brink of deflation. I'm a petty ass bitch and that's right, I even fucking timed it to his humiliation. And just on cue, my best bitches got Present Mic on the mic. 

"FINISH HIM!"

And the inspiration from his hubby was the final push that lead Aizawa to be the next number 1. He handed All Mights ass to him, and mad respect.

Aizawa's POV

A hour later.

I've noticed that reporters are up ass constantly since the fight. Also I have a hell of a lot more merchandise. So as any other logical human, I'm asking Green God and Rat God. They seem to always be the root of chaos in this school. I knock.

"Sir?"

"Come in! Me and Midori are just having our daily chess!"

"So sir, why have I been having more merchandise come out? I'm supposed to be underground, you know that right?"

"Oh! Nobody told you?" Of course it was the problem child.

"You know the fight the other day, You against All Might?"

"You posted it, didn't you?" Well if that's all then I just need to harass him enough to take it down.

"Yes. But that's not all." Now I'm scared

"Well get on with it."

"You are the number 1 hero. You were not informed, but that fight was for Number One and to switch ranks so-" 

Izuku's POV:

The man is having a mid life crisis right now. This is gold. He didn't even know till now- nobody told him-

"I resign back to my former position." 

"You can't do that unless you switch with All Might again."

"Ok. Then record it. I'm getting him, right now." Dammit Nezu don't let him-

"Alright. Midori, All Might has been called, start recording."

So to summarize what happened, Eraserhead let All Ass beat him at Rock Paper Scissors and got back number one. But he still has hella merch so screw him. 

I conquer Midnight becoming Number One tomorrow then instead of Number Two. After all, it lasted shorter than Mineta. Also speaking of that I'm gonna get him kicked from UA and blacklisted from all Hero schools as my second course of action. So time to hack a bitch.

Not even ten minutes later

Man annoying the fuck out of the support course for hacking lessons pays off. So this is either a good sign, bad, or both. Good because I can hack it, bad because I can hack it, and both because I can hack it. So anyways, it's time to do some security cam searches. 

The first showed Mineta peering into the girls bathroom, or rather trying. I know that the bathrooms are probably identical, and at that angle there's no way he could. Thank myself for that. The next few showed him touching the girls without consent, etc, etc. In general he's just a shitty person. So now I have the evidence. But luckily for me, I know Nezu's private email, so if these files happened to get in his hands- Click! Oops! My hand must've slipped. Sadly I know he's online at this hour, so there's no point in trying to delete it. Now might as well grow my blackmail collection. 

I scroll the tapes to see some from the sports festival. One showed Endeawhore yelling at Todoroki. 

"Well his hotel surely isn't Trivago..." dear me I need to get away from my muttering.

"Time to visit my bae." And there it is again. First ima go to the support labs, to scare the shit outta Lottie. And get her actual name.

So like the weird bitch I am, I ascend into my domain once more. After a bit of crawling, I get there. So now ima be a resident monster again, and hope nobody recognizes me as my godly form. So I get on my tap shoes, and get ready. Now let me describe this for you. I have tap shoes on both my hands and feet, and when I get down ima be crouching like a fucking spider. (This is not a metaphor. This boi is finna tap dance.) So I jump down, onto a unused desk a few students were chatting on.

"HIPPITY HOPPITY GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY!" Yeah I think every course has at least one person or more with a healthy fear for me.

So now I start playing the Barney theme on the highest volume on my phone, throw a few glitter grenades, and start tap dancing to the rhythm. I toss the girl closest to Mei, who I assume to be Lottie a recorder, and she gets the hint (not a camera, the instrument.) Now does she know how to play a recorder? Probably not. But that's the point. And she starts blowing air into it with the song, so now the whole support class is bathed in like green and purple glitter, with a student killing a recorder, and another kid tap dancing to death. And you KNOW your boy has this on camera. It gets even more golden when the kids in the support labs just accept it and start doing death defying stunts whilst making weird purple and green shit blow up everywhere and dancing. And by the time the theme sing stops, half the pro heroes in the school are at the door, frozen in existential crisis, or fear. Then Eraser, the center of most of my chaos, starts coming in with his capture weapon unfurled, and I do the one thing I can. I grab a empty glass vial, smash it on the ground, and yell 

"SCATTER!" 

So now as the poor teachers have witnessed the chaos of Barney, and are recovering, the entire support lab starts grabbing flight mechanics. And I jump out a window, unfurling my wings, and fleeing like hell, other follow suit and eventually all the survivors somehow make it to the rooftops. And I decide that I need to get my bae now. Keep in mind, I still have both sets of tap shoes.  

Once he's back in the vents.

She should be in the cafeteria by now. And UA has a lot of dam vents there. So as any other logical being, I drop down, grab her, flee back to the vents, and get back to the rooftops whilst hurriedly explaining.

"Midori!? What's going on!?"

"Ok so I wanted to visit my friends in the support department and talk to them, right? So I dropped in and scared the shit out of a few students, tap danced to the Barney theme whilst glitter bombing them, and the others kinda just rolled with it. So then the teachers try to punish us, so we start getting flight stuff and jumping out windows, and we all re grouped on the roof. At least the ones who survived. And we need to reclaim our prisoners. So I wanted my wifey in on it, and I sent some people to get some other people for our troops. Now I am bringing you up there, so we can win this war."

"Ok. I'm not going to waste time being surprised this time. Now we are almost there, and we are against the whole staff of UA. So let's fucking go."

"Yes! Now I don't need to 'kidnap' you until this whole thing is over."

"Wait what-"

"Irrelevant!"

Next chapter is probably even more chaotic, but fuck my life, let's go. Have a good morning, afternoon or night, and I'll see you next time!