He Lives In You (COMP.)

34th Chapter: INVITATION

I love you so much, Zhan.

I'm sorry.

Zhan's brows met in confusion. If his ears were telling him right, why hasn't he heard it back then when he wanted to hear it the most? He chased for it desperately, continually until it broke him into these tiny pieces to where nobody, not even his self could fix. But, why now? He asked himself while he stares at the clear liquid streaming down the man's flushed cheeks, and why took too long for him to speak of it? Was it hard back then? Zhan asked himself in an attempt to find answers within his ex-lover's anguish, but, it was harder than he thought. At the time when he was away from it all, almost every day, questions of how and why he let himself give in so easily to Yibo plagued his mind that he would find himself staring into nothing most times. He wandered into space, arguing and blaming his carelessness as to why he let it happen, resulting in him becoming so sick to almost saying hello to death and goodbye to his loved ones.

The worst part is, he couldn't find himself to blame Yibo one bit about it, simply because, he was the one who let it happen. He loved the guy, so much that he was willing to roll into the ground scattered with broken glass, dive into the ocean flaming with fire, played with the demon which was his love for Yibo, ignoring its warnings, thinking that it would be his winning card, but, for what? Nothing. In return, it played him too, tossed him around like he was a piece of trash then left him dying in the hands of the man he thought was the one.

It made him indignant, not only to Yibo but to himself as well.

Until he met him.

That guy who didn't stop persuading him until he goes out with him. The man who would send him flowers every day in his office, who would offer him a ride home with no schedule to follow, tells him how beautiful and perfect he is out of purity, not lust, text him whenever he has free time, not because he needs to, but because he wants to. Gentle, caring, loving, successful, kind and can proudly scream wherever they are how much he loves him, which made him feel like the luckiest man alive. Everything a guy or a girl wishes in a man, he possesses. Yibo made him feel different, but the new one makes him feel, special. There's a difference, that now he can tell. He couldn't find himself at first to say yes to him though, his trust in love and his trust in himself was wrecked because of his past. But, as the day goes by, the man's actions made him think twice.

The man's words were magic, and slowly, without Zhan knowing, his soul was beginning to be lured by it, and after a while, he was confined.

Just when he thought that he would never again forgive love, on that one summer night, he found himself kissing him under that big cherry tree and confessing his feelings for him. And, as the stars as their witness, he finally lets him into his life.

"I love you, Chen.."

"I love you more, Zhan.."

He was happy again and became even happier when he proposed to him. Of course, he said yes and at that moment, that portion of joyous time, a certain someone named Wang Yibo, a man whose existence once meant a world to him, became a nobody and had been forgotten completely.

But all of a sudden, now that he is in front of Yibo again, the years of hard work trying to forget everything that had happened between them resurfaced and with that, he could feel the hate returning. The feeling made him change to a different person, the person the burden, guilt, trauma and tears made him turn into. Bold, composed, fierce, and it is reappearing right before Yibo's eyes.