He Lives In You (COMP.)

39th Chapter: TO MY DEAREST

One week later.

Yibo's arm hasn't completely healed from the cuts and so does his heart. He sits beside Jackson in the car, looking far away with energy absent in his eyes. While the other drives to the location Mei had instructed them to, Yibo cared less about the idea of a get-together with the "family" even though he was the one who agreed with it in the first place. The thought of seeing Zhan and the man's fiancé made him restless and brought him the fear of the possibility of arousing the rage in him again. But also, he thought that withdrawing from his word won't change anything, and although Jackson tried to talk him out of it many times because of his condition, he decided to stick with the plan.

After that day, Zhan never again called or showed his face to him. Not that he is obliged to, but in Yibo's mind, he could've at least had the decency to ask him how he was doing, even if it's just pretending, a piece of his broken heart still wants to believe that the man cares for him. After all, he cheated on his fiancé just to get what he needed. At first, he tried to not think about it as much as possible, hoping that he would still call or message him, however, as days passes by, nothing reached him and his overthinking worsen. He so wanted to get his number, call him and tell him how badly he is hurting and how much he wants him to be by his side, but, he couldn't. Thanks to his friend's advice, who couldn't get any adequate rest because of his constant breakdown and nightmares, and the tiny bit of pride left in him, he forcedly ceased himself from doing so.

Zhan's action greatly reminded him of his place in his life, a nobody. He felt angry and disgusted by his own body, the wounds, and the sin that are inhabiting it, that most nights he just wanted to jump off from the window of his apartment building.

Ending it all is the only way he could think of, but, he is torn between how. Kill himself and let Zhan be finally happy with his new lover as if he didn't exist, and him finally reuniting with Yuta and his loved ones, or just leave, go someplace where he can be a new person, find new love, find happiness, like his parents would want him to have.

He was having nightmares again, all while daydreaming. The car was moving slowly, driving through radiant and clear surroundings, but, none were lucky enough to catch his attention, making him stay at the same position he had been stuck to since they left the city.

The one driving the car was feeling weary, looking back and forth at the man whose gazes were clasped at nothing but darkness. That's it, he thought. He stopped that car thinking that Yibo would react, but, the stillness didn't bother the man. He narrowed his eyes at him, looked at the gauze wrapping on Yibo's arm, and let out an air of exhaustion. He suddenly remembered Yibo's face when he showed him the letter Yuta had left for him a few days ago when Yibo was acting kind of normal. He couldn't stop his emotions while reading it, bursting out crying, and laughing at the same time. He felt happy, sad, and helpless for his dear friend, but surprisingly so, his faith in love deepens because of what he had found out. Love sure does work in mysterious ways, he thought.

He can't do anything about it though and has to endure seeing Yibo hurt and wish that one day, everything will fall into its proper place. They just need to wait until time gives way to them again. And whatever destiny brings, that's what is supposed to happen.

"That's it.."

Yibo finally reacted to the voice beside him. He turned his head to the sound and furrowed at it, annoyed by the sudden disturbance.