He Lives In You (COMP.)

35th Chapter: WEARINESS

Yibo is glad that he didn't take his car with him, or else, he would take out his frustration on the wheel and might end up in an accident. He felt kind of bad leaving his big sister alone in the restaurant, but, he too was about to blow up and was afraid that he will take it too far with her if he stays. Explanations, apologies, were all he wanted to hear from her, however, none of it came and she acted as nothing happened. It disturbed him more. He had lost a lot in his life; his parents, Yuta, his uncle, Yuta's family then Zhan, and thinking about their absence every single day had inflicted more cracks in his already ravaging heart. He cried almost every night thinking that he is unworthy of anything and there's nothing left to do but numb himself from the pain and longing.

He chose to, 'cause he had to.

With his mind gliding, he called for a cab to go somewhere where he can vent out his bitterness. Someone who he had never seen for a long time, who he never thought could become his friend, the one who pulled him out when he was in that dark place and the same person Zhan thought was his new lover, Jackson. Days before, the man messaged him and told him that he is back for a vacation and invited him for a meet up which he declined due to his schedule from work. But, now that he's free and in need of someone to talk to, who he knows will always welcome him with open arms, he immediately texts him to say that he is coming. He doesn't even know if Jackson is home, all he knows is that he needs to get away, and fast. There's no other place he could go to anyway.

On the ride there, this sensation kept on twirling inside his chest down to his gut that made him more agitated and uneasy. He couldn't show it in front of Keiko earlier, but, now that he's meeting with someone he is comfortable showing it to, he felt partially excited. After a while, Yibo finally arrived at the place which is Jackson's same apartment building, he ambled towards the glass door and then the elevator up to the 8th floor. He still remembers it clearly since he slept in twice in Jackson's place back when he was still with Zhan.

As a man with no patience, he rang the doorbell at least five times at once hoping that someone would answer it instantly. He doesn't like waiting for long unless who waits for, is him. Then finally, a voice responded, and a sigh of relief vacated Yibo's mouth.

"Coming..!"

The man opened the door with a wide smile but was shortly changed to a "what the hell" expression when he saw Yibo's mood, standing outside like he's ready to pounce at anyone.

"Uhh..hi..?"

Jackson's brow stayed held up, as the other continued to stare at him with his cold eyes. It is the first that they saw each other after a year or so, and since that incident three years ago, Jackson's behaviour changed drastically. He matured and became more understanding and giving. Also, he blamed himself for what happened to Zhan, feeling like the villain that caused more damage to the ex-couple's relationship. And so after that, since he couldn't apologize to Zhan personally, he tried to fix it up with the other one. He knew nothing of the story at that time and after what happened did he just found out about it. Oddly, he felt sorry for Zhan and almost criticized Yibo for it, even though he was the one who took advantage of Yibo's dilemma and all the flirting started with him.

"Hey, Mr Wang. Are you just gonna..stand there..? Or, would you like to uhm..come in..?"

Jackson motioned with his hand. He tried not to add more fuel to the fire by teasing him so he spoke as carefully as he could. The Yibo, without a sound, shifted his eyes to the floor, removed his shoes and went in as if he owns it. Jackson just shook his head and smiled in amazement, but, he's used to it so it wasn't a big deal anymore. He doesn't expect any greetings or hugs from him 'cause it had always been that way, even though he thinks that they are friends, he knows that Yibo is not in that category, and he respects that. It is enough for him that he doesn't include him in any of his games, looks for him when he's drunk, demands for him to come back to China when the man is out of it, that kind of things. And, he now thinks that it's better that way. Perhaps, that's how Yibo see how friendship works, at least with him. He puts up with Yibo, even with his shitty attitude sometimes because had seen how Yibo's life whirled when Zhan disappeared, and it haunts him even now. No one knew, not even Yibo's brother, what kind of hell the man went through after all that, and he doesn't want to see it happen again. If only he could return Zhan to him just to see him happy, he would.