The Merchant's Daughter

Chapter 12: Panic again!

When she opened her eyes she was being carried in the arms of this terrible man, she looked at him as he carried her up the staircase and into the purple room. He placed her on the bed resting her back on the bedhead supporting her with a pillow. His eyes were fixed on her pale face with a look she couldn't understand, but for sure, it wasn't a kind one.
She tried to leave bed when he suddenly placed his hand on her collarbone pushing her back where she was. This caused her to tremble as she stared at him but he didn't seem to be least affected. His hand remained on her as he had a face without an expression.
Mrs. Smith was making a nonstop fuss saying the same things over and over again on how everything was perfect and Helena was happy choosing her wedding dress and all the other beautiful things and how she objected getting more dresses saying that she won't need more.
Dalton was listening or seemed to be, when he suddenly shouted: enough! Will you please leave us alone?
Helena looked begging her not to go which only infuriated Dalton.
Mrs. Smith: but Dalton dear; it would be inappropriate. You have to wait till you are married.
Dalton looked at the woman as if he will kill her; while Helena tried to leave bed and fell down at her trembling and short breath.
Dalton: Mrs. Smith for God's sake, what are you saying, doesn't anyone in this house have any sense left? Get out... get out i said!!
Helena was still trembling when he lifted her, removed the covers and put her under them and held her chin up to look at her face which was still very pale: Breath.. Slow... take another deep breath and keep it inside
Helena followed what he said while he was holding her freezing hand between his two hands. He kept telling her to take deep breaths one after one till her breathing became better
Dalton: are you afraid of what this crazy woman said? Don't be... we will speak... and you will tell me because God knows, if you hid from me or lie to me... then you have to be scared.
Helena was still looking at him fishing for any sort of kindness in him... Oh God can there be a man so cold... so cruel... my breathing was stopping and i was almost dying and all he's able to do is threatening me?
Dalton was annoyed at her looks at him, he narrowed his eyes: are you studding me Miss? What... you think I'm handsome
Helena felt like screaming, but instead spoke softly: no... How can cruelty be connected with any sort of beauty.
Dalton could never expect this answer but he smiled to cover up for his surprise: I'm flattered young lady.
Helena: it is Helena if you already forgot the name... anyhow... what is it you wanted to ask before you took the liberty of swearing and threatening.
Dalton was fed up with her way of standing up to him sentence by sentence, he placed his hand on her throat and looked really angry trying to maintain his voice level, he spoke between his teeth: what happened to what we said that you won't provoke me and i won't hurt you!
Helena was dying to tell him that the deal was he won't provoke her – but then she remembered she really provoked him this time... she smiled and tried to move his fingers away from her throat slowly: yes... i guess it's me this time, provoking you.. I'm sorry
His eyes melted at her smile and something struck his heart at her apology... is it the lake of resistance when she felt she was mistaken? Women he know don't do that... they keep rambling nonsense all the time.
Helena noticed his face change but wasn't sure what was in his head, she removed her smile and spoke calmly: ask Mr Donovan and i promise to tell the truth.
Dalton's face was still crossed: are you sick? It's the second time you black out, even though i thought you were pretending last time.
Helena's eyes widened at his thinking so bad of her: Mr Donavan, it's terrible how bad you think of me as a start. Anyways, considering we hardly know anything about each other, i won't further comment on that... No, I'm not sick... i... i get panic attacks. Never had them that often... and they would only be racing heart beats, sweating or chills, trembling but now it also has this awful breathing problem and dizziness.
She breathed heavily as she continued: I've been under much pressure lately... and...
She paused, as he wasn't making any reaction: do you know what a panic attack is... i mean are you familiar with a bit of psychology?? It's not a physical disorder i mean...
Dalton was shocked at her questions: familiar with psychology??... Are you?? Well yes i know what's a panic attack... what triggers it??
Helena smiled again and had this childish look on her face: well if i tell you, you will think I'm provoking you.
Dalton couldn't help a small smile before controlling his face again: i guess you will have to take your chances, tell me what happened in the two times.
Helena's face started changing showing her pain: I'm not sure, but this morning you insulted me so easily and suddenly my breathing stopped... and now, it hit me that this marriage would mean a lifetime sentence with someone who trusts no one, loves no one, and cares for no one.
Dalton was so silent... she was right... it was scary... but it hit him how she sees him... did he even want to tell her she was mistaken? But mostly, is she?? He left her room coldly, leaving her in complete confusion.
She thought with sadness, he didn't even defend or explain himself, he didn't even try to assure her that things will improve or it will get better when they know each other... Nothing... same cold... same closed person.