The Merchant's Daughter

Chapter 46: The Accused

She blamed herself badly for hurting him... how could she... she's the one who's been experiencing how people's minds and words are worse than daggers that kill ruthlessly? She used the same weapon people used against her and her family and hurt him stupidly... she was too ashamed to go back to him.
She sat praying he will believe in her words that she spoke with all honesty...
The whole day she didn't see him... she was scared he would go to the cottage... she wanted to be with him... she was locking herself in her room.
Eventually she went out and kept searching everywhere for him... there was no sign of him... even when evening came no one knew where he was. She sent to the horse stable and found that his horse Prince was not there... she asked them to take her to the cottage; but no one could make the trip at night... she had to wait till morning.
She didn't sleep for a minute; the night was terrible without him. With the first daylight, she took the food she asked them to arrange the night before and set off with someone from the stable who rode with her showing the way till she reached the cottage.

Her heart was filled with sadness when she found him asleep in a chair in front of the cottage in the open, he looked cold and his face was full of sadness even in his sleep...
She approached and stood behind him kissing his forehead and running her fingers in his hair. He opened his eyes and looked away... she moved around till she was facing him, turned his face softly and kissed his lips.

When the man who brought her put the food in the kitchen and asked them if they needed anything before he left... Dalton looked angry at them and almost snapped: take her back... i want to be alone.

She thanked the man who looked very confused and sent him away.
She looked at Dalton firmly: I'm going nowhere... i will not be separated from you.
She paused as he looked away: did you go see Father Timothy
Helena shocked her head: no... I didn't & i won't... i know you and don't need anyone defending you
Dalton snapped in anger: lair... why were you scared to death then?? The worst part is that you are even lying to yourself.
Helena tried to talk calmly: it took me only a second to look into your eyes and realize what kind of lies people are saying about you... and yes... i was confused when i first heard it... it sacred and badly affected me.. I am very sorry Dalton... i came to apologize.
Dalton: i don't care. I want you gone. It's better and safer. I need no one. Specially you.
He then got worried she'd go... he suffered the whole day yesterday just for the thought of her leaving him.
To his surprise, she moved and hugged him from his back, resting her head on his back: don't send me away Dalton... i cannot humiliate myself and apologize again... and i cannot wait when you keep pushing me away.
When he didn't move or say anything, her hands dropped from around his waist.
As she turned to walk away, he took her hand... her eyes widened looking at him
He was trying to push more to know how she really felt: you are not afraid i kill you here and now?
Helena: you think I wasn't dead yesterday when you left me?
Dalton looked away when she approached him to hug him softly and rested her head on his chest... she felt her heart miss a beat when his arms wrapped her hard and he kissed her hair... she slowly lifted her face and kissed the lower part of his chin.. This made him kiss her lips so softly whispering: i thought that was the end of us Lena.
Helena smiled in her naughty way: you won't get rid of me that easily Dalton... should we get inside? I'm so tired and cold... didn't have any sleep.

He took her inside the cottage and went to bed in their full clothes completely racked of lack of sleep and the fear of losing each other... the worst part was that he didn't tell her how much he needed her and neither did she... but somehow they were both content that they were hugging and sleeping the worry away.

He wake up on the smell of food and his stomach that was twisting of hanger when he realized he didn't eat since breakfast the day before... he went behind her as she smiled at him and circled her waist, he kissed her hair and whispered: i just love.. (he paused as he felt her trembling in his arms and her eyes widening smiling looking at him.. then finished his sentence) the smell of your food.
The disappointment on her face stabbed his heart as he sat on the dining chair. She quickly forced herself a smile to cover her terrible disappointment before he sees it and went to kiss his forehead: didn't want to make a coffee till you eat, you must be starving.
He was puzzled at how and why his heart ached at her look... he was not in love with her... what did she expect?

When they sat hugging in bed after dinner; her eyes questioned but she didn't dare to ask anything.
Dalton knowing she needed answers: i cannot talk about anything Helena, but if i swear on my father's grave that i didn't harm any of them will you believe me?
Helena was hoping he tells her, but only nodded: i know you wouldn't hurt them... but honestly, it would have given me peace of mind if i know from you more details... i still don't want to know from anyone else.
Dalton: as much as i cannot talk about what happened to my family i cannot talk about these two women... it took me such a very long time to be able to hold myself up.. Talking about it, will just open all the wounds i have hardly closed.
Helena: Mary??
Dalton was surprised: how do you know that name?
Helena: you said her name then you cried in your sleep once.
Dalton looked shocked: when did that happen
Helena: at the early nights of our marriage... you loved her?
Dalton: and still... never stopped...
For Helena it was all she needed to hear to keep her silent and close up.
What was she expecting? That he loved her? He said it when they were standing in the spring; he doesn't and he will not... what illusions have been playing in her head?

Dalton watched the pain on her face and for the first time he felt he didn't deserve her... this amazing warm bright beautiful lady, he will never be able to love her... He will never be able to return her warm affection that even when she's not putting it into words he sees and feels it every time her eyes shines when she sees him..
He had no idea how to deal with this... it was much easier dealing with her resentment but not her love.. This, he didn't plan for!

Helena tried not to change the way she did everything but something broke... Something put off the shin of her eyes... even Emalia asked her in front of Dalton: what is wrong with you these days?
She teared her solid tears that don't leave her eyes and replied with a bitter smile that it seems that she caught a cold... the following couple of days she won't leave her room and hardly spoke to anyone.. During their sleep, he felt her slipping from his arms in the middle of the night crying in her pillow so he won't wake up.