The Beginning In Our End

Chapter 9- Get My Shit Together

For people who wonder how Pamela looks.

Pamela - Rochelle Aytes. (Taylor's dad's girlfriend)

Taylor's POV.

I groggily walked down the stairs, hearing my mom's and Pamela's laughter. As soon as I entered the kitchen, their smiles turned to straight faces. They hushed amongst each other as I filled a cup of water. I particulary noticed Pamela giving me the stink of the eye.

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows at her.

"I'll be upstairs." My mom smirked and excused herself from the kitchen.

As soon as she left, I leaned on the counter across from Pam. She continued to scowl at me as I drank my water.

"What is it?" I asked again.

She huffed, "What the hell was that last night?"

I was honestly surprised by her sudden irritation. "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Taylor." She glared, "With that Ava and her boyfriend. Is that really how you're going to act towards her after all this time? What happened to 'I'm mature now', 'I've changed'? You made that girl run out of her own house because she couldn't handle to even be around you. Is that really how it was when you two were together? Because if it is, I wouldn't blame her for moving on."

"Hey, you know what, you have no idea with what happened between me and Ava? Why the fuck do you care? Why don't you mind your own fucking business Pamela!"

"That girl deserves no fucking bullshit you give to her. You told me yourself you still love her. But yet you're here messing around with Sarah, taking care of her child, putting her most prized possesion in your care. Why the fuck are you being so reckless with these girls? Do you not realize your actions have affects on other people? How do you think Sarah is going to feel when she finds out you don't want to he with her because you're still in love with Ava? How is Ava going to feel when you're still in love with her but you're so fucking rude towards her that you're basically pushing her into that boy's goddamn arms! You need to get your shit together or else Emily won't have a mother or father."

"I don't fucking know!" I slammed the glass cup at the wall, making Pamela jump. "I can't fucking think straight! I have so much fucking shit on my plate. Taking care of Emily, providing for her, taking care of my goddamn self, providing for me, trying to go to school to have a better life, trying to make up for my past. I'm only fucking eighteen, I can't handle any of this!"

Silence stilled the air between us, only hearing the sound of my heavy breaths. I felt weak, defeated, deflated. Taking out my rage lessened the tensity in my shoulders, only making me feel somewhat better.

Her voice was softer, calmer. "You are only eighteen and you shouldn't have to be worrying about all these things. You're only a child yourself, how could you expect to take care of another one? You need to focus on you and your life."

"But what about Sarah?" I murmured, "I can't let her down."

Her hand rested over mine in comfort. "You have such a big heart for a fuck up." She chuckled. "She will understand. Taking care of another human being is a lot to ask from anyone, even you. You put so much weight on your shoulders, you don't realize it's hurting you as well."

"What are you trying to say? Tell Sarah to come back because I can't take care of her baby? She's in more need of getting her shit together than I am."

"You need to find that little girl a stable home who are able to provide for her." She finally said.

I rubbed my eyes furiously with my palms.

"Hey," she smiled, "before you stress anymore, I think there's something you could do to begin cleaning your slate."

I knew what she was going to say, and I could already feel the dread forming. "Yeah, I know I know." I groaned, "Apologize to Ava."

She nodded and half smiled. "It's the right thing. Do it not for her, but for you two. You two finally need some closure and last night wasn't what I had in mind."

I chuckled at the memory of Ava's cheeks turning red from anger. "Okay, okay. You're right. I'll go over to her house today."

She stood up with a satisfied smirk on her face. "I'm always right."