The Beginning In Our End

Chapter 31- Days of The Dreadful

Ava's POV.

I layed in bed, staring out the window and to the dark grey sky night of New York. It was Saturday night, five days since I last seen or heard from Taylor.

Normally, five days would go by fast if it was any normal week. But since that dreadful, pain filled night, the days have dragged by at an agonizingly slow rate.

Day 1 was truly the worst. After crying and sobbing into Kylie's lap for nearly two hours, my tears had finally dried on my cheeks and my lungs couldn't whisper out another sob. She had helped me up and to bed, tucking me underneath my covers. I was still dressed in the dirty clothes I had worn that previous night, but I couldn't find any strength to get out of bed. My eyes were increasingly heavy and I surrended in a deeply needed sleep.

I had an awful nightmare that night. I remembering walking down the streets of New York, the sky being incredibly dark, no stars in the sky whatsoever. I had a certain anticipation coursing through me, yet the reason was still unknown. I turned the corner and immediately stopped in my tracks. My breath caught in my throat as I couldn't take my eyes off of the sight in front of me.

It was Taylor. His eyes remained closed as his lips moved passionately onto her lips. Her. I couldn't tell who the mysterious girl was as her lips nibbled and sucked on his full lips. I tried to take a step back, but my entire body felt frozen. I tried to look away but it was as if my body was refusing, forcing me to watch the horrid sight in front of me. I tried to scream at the top of my lungs, but my lungs felt too weak. Warm tears escaped my eyes as I watched them together, touching, kissing each other. Their hands wandering each others bodies as their lips never dared to seperate. Everything had disappeared from around us; the streets, the buildings, the sky. We were consumed by a darkness but only they were completely obvious to it, and to me.

"Ava!"

My eyes shot open and my body quickly sat up straight my bed. Stray hairs pressed on my forehead in sweat. My breathing was heavy as I gasped more and more for air. My heart was beating at a fast rate as my head whipped around to see Kylie, her eyes wide open in worry.

"What happened?" I breathed heavily.

"You were whimpering in your sleep," she explained, her eyes filled with concern, "I could hear your muffled cries from all the way in my room. So I came in here and woke you up. You looked like you were having a nightmare."

As soon as she said these words, my mind darted back to the horrid nightmare. I looked at her helplessly as tears involuntarily flowed down my cheeks without warning. She immediately sat beside me, wrapping her arms around me as I shut my eyes and sobbed once again. It felt so real, my heart was still aching with a pain that I experienced in the dream. This wasn't a dream though. The pain I felt was real.

He was gone.

I had told Kylie I didn't want to go to school today and she completely understood. I gave her the number to the coffee shop I worked at and she promised she would call and tell them I was horribly ill. I thanked her quietly before she left the room, leaving me in the darkness once again.

As the second day came, things didn't exactly get better. It was Wednesday morning and I woke up, gasping for air as my mind went back to the horrid nightmare I had once again. I called Kylie into my room and told her if she could call in my work and request another sick day. I couldn't find any motivation to go to school or work. As horrible as it sounded, I couldn't find any motivation to do anything. As concerned as she was, she nodded and left my room once again. I spent the whole day attempting to go back to sleep or stay at ceiling, lost in thought. I began to think about Taylor when I had first met him. Everything we been through together had only made us stronger. So why did this have to be so different? I remembered Logan and the times he had been a replacement for Taylor. I felt guilty for what I did to Logan but he basically planned to sabotage my entire future. I think breaking up with him was the very least when it came to punishment. I started to remember the many times Taylor had tried to talk to me and I had not listened. I was so stupid, so stubborn. Why couldn't I just shut up for two minutes and listen to him?

Even if you push me away, I will only hold you tighter. He would always say.

I had pushed him so far away, he lost his grasp on me. But only if he knew he never lost his grasp on my heart. My heart was always his home and even if we both lost our way, he would always come back. But the pain that layed beneath his dark eyes was enough to make him finally realize he deserved better.

Maybe he did deserve better. I was scared of getting hurt and hurting him. I had managed to do both in one single night. After all this time of thinking I was protecting myself from the bad in the world, I hadn't realized I've been keeping out the only light that illuminated my darkness. He was an eternity that I had been so lucky to have came across. No matter what I did or said to him, he came back to me. He always came back to me.

And nothing could have hurt worse than the moment he said, "Nothing I ever do will ever be good enough."

I pushed this man beyond his limits until he finally broke. How could I ever forgive myself for hurting him? How will he ever dare to forgive me?

Day three was better than the last. It was Thursday and I had finally piled up my strength to go to school. Even if this complicated mess that was my life, I knew it couldn't be like this forever. Even with everything that happened with Taylor, I had came to New York to make sure Taylor had no part or saying in how my future was going to end up. Lonely and depressed, but at least I was doing only good thing for myself.

The school hours dragged along by and before I knew it, I was at work. I had mest up on customers orders at least five times before Joy had finally told me to take the rest of the day off. I felt horrible for not being able to do my job, but I didn't bother to decline her offer. I went home and buried myself in bed once again and slept for the rest of the day.

It was Friday morning when I finally left my room to eat. I hadn't even bothered to even nibble at any food Kylie had served me in bed. I made myself a cold tasteless sandwich but it was better than nothing. I heard a gasp come from behind me as I opened the refridgerator to grab a water bottle. I turned around to Kylie with wide eyes and a happy grin to match.

"You're out of bed!" She said excitedly.

I couldn't help but chuckle at her enthusiasm and I noticed the small smile on my lips. Its the first time I smiled since that dreadful night and I smiled once more when I realized it. I wasn't going to become the lifeless depressed shell of a girl I was once. And I knew I had Kylie to make sure of it.

We had taken a walk out in the New York city streets. It was such a beautiful day, the sun peeked through the grey clouds, illuminating the city. I smiled at my surroundings, basking in the city's beauty. I was finally doing something that hadn't made me think of Taylor. I was proud of myself.

If only Saturday was just as fortunate.

Kylie had recieved a phone call from Jason saying he hadn't seen Taylor in the past two days. His stuff that was in Jason's apartment completely vanished along with him. My heart rropped down to my stomach in the realization Taylor must of took a flight back home. But thankfully, he had recieved one text message from Taylor last night saying that he was 'out'. Normally when Taylor said he was 'out', he was never doing anything good. Once Kylie had told me, I didn't know how to react. Fear, worry, anger, and sadness pulsed through all at once, I wasn't sure how to react to the situation at all. Kylie and Jason had both agreed they'd go out and try to look for him.

But if Taylor didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.

I layed in bed, staring out my window and to the dark grey sky night of New York.

It was Saturday night, and I was alone in the dark apartment while Kylie and Jason searched for Taylor in the busy city. The usual gnawing ache in my heart continued to put me in a painful emotional state. I felt everything yet nothing all the same.

It was Saturday night when I heard the sound of a phone ring beside me from my nightstand. A phone call.

His phone call.