The Beginning In Our End

Chapter 10- An Apology

Ava's POV.

I slumped on the couch, watching my sixteenth episode of 'Friends'. The doorbell rang, making me groan and lazily pick myself up from the couch. I stumbled to the door with a soft blanket still wrapped around me.

I opened the door to find a familiar brunette boy with the devil's smile standing behind it.

"Hey Ava." He smirked and rubbed the back of his neck.

I rolled my eyes and swung to close the door. But a foot ceased it shut. His force from the other side was much stronger than mine and he sucessfully pried the door open.

"What do you want Taylor?" I finally muttered, "I don't want to fight. I'm not in the mood to-"

"I wanna be friends."

His words left me frozen, my eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. Friends? Taylor Andrews wants to be friends with me?

"You what?" I asked in surprise.

He nodded in confirmation, "I want to bury the hatchet. I don't want you to hate me anymore. Do you think we could just.. start over?"

"I don't know.." I said in honesty.

"Ava, please?" He pleaded, "I know you're tired of fighting just as I am. I know it must be exhausting trying to fend off my bullshit. You don't deserve it, I know. I just really want all of this to be over. If you could just please forgive me, I swear I will leave you and your precious boyfriend alone. Just please, I don't want any of this anymore."

I stood there in shock as the immature boy who desired to get under my skin was now apologizing to me and begging me to end my grudge.

"It's not that easy." I murmured, "I just can't forget everything that happened between us."

A pained look overcame his face along with saddened eyes and I almost regretted what I had said. His wounds from our past may have not been fully healed.

"Sometimes, I stay up late at night.." He began to say, "thinking about what happened between us and how we ended up the way we did. If I could go back and change how we ended, I would of. I would of done my best to improve in school and myself to just stay here and be with you. I shouldn't have slacked off, I knew what the consequences were but I continued to fuck up because I thought I would be invincible. But you know what? Leaving you killed me. Letting you down murdered every ounce and aspect of respect I had for myself. I shouldn't have been so careless. I should of thought about you. I should of fucking thought about how you would feel if I left you. There's a lot of things I should of done and I would do anything in the world to go back and fix my mistakes."

I was now in tears as the words escaped his mouth, my grief finally surfacing. "You left me alone." I sobbed. He pulled me into his chest and I willingly wrapped my arms around his body, breathing in his familiar scent for the first time in years. "I needed you. I needed you to be here and you left me alone. You were my life source and I felt like I couldn't breathe when you left. I wasn't okay.. I'm still not."

He lifted my face to his, wiping off the tears that soaked my cheeks. His own eyes moistured as he looked down at me while I cried in pain.

"Ava, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm here now. I'm here now baby. Please, just forgive me. I could make this all go away. Just trust me again. Let me in."

His words were comforting but my mind was still spinning with thoughts that I had yet to sort. This happened once, and I was too scared to start this cycle all over. I couldn't bear this pain a second time. I tore away from his warm hold. I wiped my cheeks clean and kept a straight face.

"I'm sorry Taylor. This is just too much right now. It's too late. This is all too late. You can't just come back and expect me to jump at the chance to be with you again. That's not how it works anymore. You've caused me too much pain.. There's just too much pain."

"But Ava, please. It doesn't have to be like this."

"It does." I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Taylor. We could be friends, but not anything more. You can't just have me again.. It's not that easy. I think you should go now."

His face fell and I had to pull myself together as I watched him slowly turn around and walk away.