The Beginning In Our End

Chapter 33- I Won't Push You Away

Ava's POV.

As soon as the taxi neared the club, I could spot Taylor standing on the curb on the street, his arms swinging at his sides. I smiled at his playful appearance; hopefully he will be in a good mood to forgive me. As soon as the taxi pulled over, Taylor's eyes landed on me as I opened the car door.

"Ava," he smiled joyfully, "For a second, I thought you weren't going to come-"

Before he could finish his sentence, I jumped into his arms, engulfing his cold body. I happily breathed in his scent as I whispered in his ear, "I'll always come back to you.. always."

His arms strongly wrapped around my lower back, pressing our bodies closer together. I enjoyed his warm embrace for a few more moments before suddenly feeling the loss of contact as he pulled away.

His eyebrows furrowed together along with a deep frown. "You kissed someone else." He muttered scornfully.

I felt an overwhelming wave of emotion as I croaked, "I know Taylor, I'm so sorry."

I inched closer to him but to only see him step back. "You don't even know how bad you hurt me. I was so angry with you for what you did," he said, "that I kissed someone else to get back at you."

I winced at his words, the moisture in my eyes quickly rising. I blinked back the tears as I tried to recover from what he just confessed. "It's okay," I nodded quickly, "It's okay, I forgive you."

"But I won't forgive you that easily," he said, his words piercing right through me. Tears now rolled down my cheeks as I tried to step closer to him.

"Taylor, listen to me. I am so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No," he said forcefully, "I'm done listening to you. All I've ever done is listen to you say how much we're better off without each other or how I need to forget you and move on." His glassy eyes became watery from underneath, "Well you know what Ava, I can't forget you. Not matter what I fucking do, I'll never be able to forget you. And you have no idea how fucking frustrating it is for me to give you every little ounce of my heart for you to just stomp all over it with your combat boots and tell me to 'move on'. I can't fucking move on Ava! You're all I fucking want, can't you see that? You're all I fucking want in my life!"

"Taylor, I know I've hurt you-"

"No, you don't know." He argued, "You don't fucking know what it's like having to wake up everyday wandering wether life is really worth living if you don't have shit to live for."

I cried at his terrifyingly honest words, "Please don't say things like that-"

"Why? Because it's not what you want to hear? What do you want to hear, huh? That I forgive you and we can go back to the way we were? Not this time, Ava. You've pushed me too far. I thought I'd be able to still hold on to you if I stayed, but you keep continuing to push and push and push. Well you know what? I've finally let go. I'm not gonna try to hold on to you any longer."

His cruel painful words sent daggers through me, one by one. I buried my face in my hands, sobs filling the quiet air that remained between us.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, my voice raspy and filled with pain, "I'm so sorry I've hurt you. I thought pushing you away was the only way to prevent myself from getting hurt. But what I didn't realize that pushing you away was hurting me. It's hurting me how close I'm standing in front of you and not being able to touch you without you pulling away. You feel so far away and I know it's my fault. I was in complete darkness for so long, I was beginning to grow afraid of light. You were the light that guided me to your heart and you trusted me with it. You trusted me and I've completely broken your trust. But please believe me when I say that I will spend my entire lifetime holding you tighter than ever before. Wether you forgive me or not, I will never let go of the grasp you have on my heart. You've had it since the first day I met you and it will never change."

I took his hand and pulled it to my chest, his warm palm directly over my pulsing heartbeat. "I promised you that this heart will never beat for amyone else. As long as I'm here, my heart will always lead me back to you. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you, atom by atom, one burning cell at a time."

His hand pulled away, as he looked down at the ground. I was desperate for him to realize that I wasn't going to shut him out anymore. Before I knew it, I pulled him and engulfed him into my arms once again. I kept a tight grasp on him, tears escpaing my eyes, one by one.

"I don't want to push you away anymore," I breathed into his ear, "I'll let you in."

He pulled away again, but this time, he quickly pressed his lips onto mine. I gladly responded, wrapping my arms around his neck. He breathlessly folded his lips onto mine, the warmth of his lips bringing a smile to my face in the middle of the kiss.

He tore away from the kiss too quickly, leaving a frown on my tear stained face.

"I need to think about everything Ava," he spoke softly, "There's just too much going through my mind right now. I need to go somewhere and think everything through. I need to distance myself from everything and have time for myself to really think about who I am and what I want."

"Okay," I agreed, "Take all the time you need."

He shook his head once more before saying, "Not here."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused as to what he was referring to.

He took a deep breath before deciding, "I'm going to leave New York."

..

Omg, sorry to end it on that. But anyways! It's 4:52 right now and I just updated three chapters. The things I do for my readers!

I only have one more hour of sleep before I have to wake up and get ready for school. So I'll update once I get out! See you then!