The Beginning In Our End

Chapter 29- Lost For Good

Song for this chapter: The Last Time- Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody.

Taylor's POV.

The moisture underneath my eyes were still warm and I furiously wiped them with my cold sleeve.

I can't fucking believe she did that. I can't fucking believe that I thought things could go back to the way they were. Everything was different now, she was different now.

And it's all my fault.

I should of never come here. Why was I stupid enough to come here? How naive I was thinking that if Ava saw how much I was trying to start over with her, she'd give me another chance. But even if I jump off a cliff for that girl, it won't be enough. Nothing I'll do will ever be enough for her.

The damage has been done. I've truly lost the girl I love. Maybe this really is the end of us.

My phone buzzed from the inside of my pocket and I instantly ignored it, assuming it was Ava to apologize. At this moment, I don't think I'd be able to even look at her without falling apart. God, why did I fucking come here in the first place.

I felt the vibrations as it buzzed continously. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and checked the caller ID. To my surprise, it was Kylie. I groaned before bringing the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I answered, my voice sounding deep and raspy.

"Taylor," she said softly, "I'm so sorry."

I knew Ava must of told Kylie what happened, but I didn't need any apology or explanation.

"I'm fine," I lied, "What do you want?"

"Where are you?" She asked.

"Nowhere." I barked, "I just need to go somewhere. Somewhere far away from her." I couldn't even bring myself to say her name without remebering her lips latched on his.

"You shouldn't be alone right now." She said urgently, "Just come to the apartment and we'll all have a discussion about it, okay?"

"No!" I shouted into the phone, not caring if the taxi driver thought I was a lunatic, "There's nothing to fucking talk about. She obviously has her own life to live and there's no room for me in it. I loved her with all of my heart and I don't think I have anymore of myself to give."

"Please, she's really sorry and regretful what she did," she explained, "You need to hear her out. She's going through a lot too."

"What could possibly be upsetting her right now? She already has a new boyfriend to make everything better for her. She doesn't need me anymore. She never did."

"That's not true!" I heard a muffled cry in the background along with mutiple shushes. It was Ava's voice. My heart ached at her desperate sobs but I couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't good enough for her amd we both knew it.

"Good bye Kylie," I said, ready to hang up.

"No, Taylor please!" She pleaded once more, "I'm alone in the bathroom now. Ava can't hear you, okay? Just please just let me send you an address so you won't have to spend any money on a motel room."

As much as I wanted to refuse, I didn't have a lot of money with me and I still had to pay this damn taxi driver.

"Okay," I agreed sternly, "But you can't tell her where I am."

"Okay," she quickly replied.

"I'm serious Kylie," I warned, "If you tell her where I'm staying, I swear I'll never forgive you for it. I don't want to be near her right now. I-I just need to be alone tonight."

"I understand, I won't say anything."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise." She agreed.

"Good. Text me the address and delete it afterwards. I don't need Ava to know where I'm staying." I instructed to her.

"Okay, she won't know, I swear."

"Goodbye, thank you Kylie."

"Anytime."

I hung up the phone and patiently waited for her text message. Soon enough, she sent me an address with a name beside it.

Jason Price.

Who the fuck was Jason Price? I shook my head as I told the driver the change in plans. I don't care where I went, I just had to be isolated from her. It seemed as if this was the first night to the rest of my lonely, fucked up life.

..

Ava's POV.

"Please, you have to tell me where he is!" I pleaded with her, "I have to apologize to him!"

A pained look remained on her face but she once again shook her head. I knew she wanted to help me, but something was keeping her from doing so. And that something was Taylor.

It's been an hour since I rushed home and cried to Kylie about what had happened. I was so stupid to kiss him. To let him kiss me. I had broken an unspoken promise that remained between Taylor and I. A promise that I knew would kill him if I broke it.

But I did. And I wish I could take it back.

I was weak with an aching pain amd guilt so strong, I fell to my knees in the middle of the living room. I buried my face into my hands, feeling tears cascading down my cheeks as I painfully sobbed till my lungs gave out.

Kylie dropped down to the ground as well, wrapping her small arms around me. My body leaned against her helpessly. I layed my head on her lap, my desperate wails filling the silent air of our dark, gloomy apartment.

This wasn't what I wanted. I thought pushing him away was best; he wouldn't have the power to hurt me. But what I've come to realize that pushing him away was hurting me. It was never his love I was afraid of, it was being without it that truly scared me the most.

When I first met him, I was a sickly depressed grenade, ready to self destruct at any moment. He was my cure, the only person that could save me from myself. He loved me for the chaotic mess that I was. My world was filled with despair and darkness. And in one night, he became my light. The only one who took my insecurities and made them into imperfect perfections. He was the one person I had tried to tear away from, but only felt myself hungering for more. All this time, I was so blinded by my fears and doubts, I let it wilt the love that burned for him.

I love him. Fuck, I love him with every atom that is me. I love him with every fiber of my entire being.

And because of my desperate need to fill a whole that only he could fufill, I had kissed someone else. In that single moment, I had let myself fall into someone else's embrace. Someone I knew could never make my skin feel like fire whenever he touched me, or make my heart ache whenever he was away.

This pain that pierced through me wasn't temporary. I had lost him for good.

And I'll never get him back..

..

Omfg this chapter gave me the fucking feels! Anyways, the song I had written at the very beginning of this chapter is basically the theme song for this entire book. Like if my book was made into a trailer, that song would play.

I have many different songs that could suit my trilogy but these songs really fit them the best.

Let Me In: Your Guardian Angel- The Red Jumpsuit Apparel

A Taste of Life: Mess I Made- Parachute

The Beghinning in Our End: The Last Time- Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody.

Like seriously, listen to these songs and you'll know what I'n talking about.

Anyways, don't forget to vote and comment please! I love you guys. Until next time.

Sincerely, Sammie.