I cant handle it (PART TWO) - fluff

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For __Unk0wn__28
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- Amy
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Freddie ended up staying in hospital over the course of three weeks. Turned out the drugs didn't kill him, but rather had some side affects. The doctors kept him under excellent care, and he was released at the end of the month. They also got him off the drugs while he was there. Terry met him in the hospital parking lot, and Miami, being the gem he was, issued a fake release date to the press, so Freddie could leave in peace. One of the doctors spilled what happened to the press, and Freddie was out to sue her.

Freddie turned the key in the lock at garden lodge, and stepped into his home. But it didn't feel like home. It wasn't loud and filled with chatter and smiles. It didn't have Sophia and Emi running around, shrieking and knocking over everything in their path. It didn't have the playing of a grand piano or the smell of Jim's famous garlic mashed potatoes baking away in the oven. It was quiet. Freddie had never liked quiet.

He closed the door and slipped off his shoes. When Jim left, he'd taken the cats, so someone could look after them. There was absolute silence, save the ticking of the grand clock they kept in the hallway. It belonged to the previous owners, and had stopped working. Jim got it working again the same hour Sophia was born. It had been ticking just a little longer than her.

Freddie sighed. He was alone again. He busied himself by watching the news, and sipping champagne. He didn't have to care if it was ten in the morning anymore. He could drink as long as he liked. He'd better get used to this new lifestyle. But he missed the old garden lodge so dearly. He'd usually have Jim's strong arms around him, Emi sitting on his lap, and Sophia dancing to the music on MTV.

Sophie. Oh he missed his baby. He still didn't understand why she didn't love him anymore. He wished he could turn back time, and scoop her up in his arms, and kiss her, and tell her how much he loved her- ding dong.

The doorbell rang.

Freddie was puzzled. He thought nobody would ever visit him again. He got up. He walked to the door, and opened it. It was his mother. He'd never been so glad to see her.

"Hi mama." It was strange how sad he sounded. He didn't think he'd ever sounded like that before. From the look on her face, Jer didn't think so either. But, bless her, she offered her best smile, her homemade cookies in a warm container, and a big, calming hug.

"Jim and the babies are in Ireland, mama. I'm never gonna see them again. I sent Jim a thousand messages. He's never gone this long truly ignoring me. Even if we have a fight, he reads the messages. He hasn't even been active on messenger for a month. I want him back. So bad." He started sobbing uncontrollably. He was wondering how long it would take him to break.

Jer held him, not speaking, but stroking his hair, and humming a tune. It helped him calm eventually, but boy, did he have a lot of feelings pent up. When he started breathing normally again, then she spoke.

"They didn't go to Ireland balaka. They ended up staying with me and your father. I've come to take you there. Jim has pretended that he doesn't miss you, but I can see it in his eyes. I can see it in your eyes too. They've lost their happy sparkle. You were born with that twinkle in your eyes, and I want to see it come back. Come with mama. I'll take you to them."

Jer guided Freddie to her car. She drove him back to her and bomi's house, and unlocked the front door. Instantly, he heard the chatter and laughter that he knew so well. A happy household. He knew that when he stepped into that front room, where the noise was coming from, it would die down. There would be that old, terrible silence once more. They were happy without him. Freddie started to hesitate.

Jer saw right through him. "Jigar, the girls are waiting for their daddy." She smiled. Freddie tried his best to return it. Jer pushed open the door, and he stepped through after her. The room went silent. Freddie wouldn't meet eyes with anybody, not even when they called his name. He kept his eyes perfectly trained on the floor. He noted that Jim and Sophie were the two people who didn't say anything. Well, if that told him all he needed to know.

"Can I get a glass of water please?" He finally met eyes with someone; Jer. She nodded and went to get it for him, but he told her not to trouble herself, he could do it. He stepped into the kitchen. He didn't get a glass of water. He needed to breathe. He sat at the kitchen table, and looked out the window. He had always been jealous of the view his parents had out that window. They lived in the rural part of London, and you could see grassy hills and fields of flowers for miles. It was beautiful.

He didn't know how long he stayed there, but the hand on his shoulder nearly made him scream, he jumped so hard. The hand belonged to Jim. Jim smiled at him, and Freddie felt himself falling in love all over again. He'd always been a sucker for that smile. And those eyes. And that moustache. And those gentle hands. And those arms. And that chest. God he was obsessed.

"Hey." Jim spoke. Freddie replied, so quiet he nearly didn't hear himself. "Freddie, I want to talk to you. What I said at the hospital... I didn't give you a chance to explain yourself. I was angry and scared. What if it was one of the girls that found you, and not me? My feelings got the better of me. Last week, Sophie told me the truth. The exact same story you gave me. Honey, I'm so sorry. You know I love you, we truly never can get enough of each other can we? Baby," Jim lifted up Freddie's chin. Their eyes met. "Hey, come here. I love you."

Freddie thought he'd cry when Jim hugged him. But instead, he just yawned. He rested his forehead on that familiar spot of Jim's collarbone, and just stood there, gently swaying. Jim's hand was stroking through his hair, the other wrapped tightly around his waist. Never had a hug felt so good.

"Daddy?"

Freddie looked up. Sophia stood in the doorway. She clutched her teddy bear, her eyes big and round. She came up to him, and without a word, hugged him around the stomach. He smiled, and tucked a hair behind her ear. "Hi bubba."

"Love you daddy. I'm sorry." She whimpered into this tummy. Freddie cooed and picked her up. Sophie kissed his nose. "I love you too my Angel. More than anything." Freddie held her close, and Jim wrapped his arms around the two of them. They just stood there for a minute, content and calm.

Jer called them back into the front room after a moment. Freddie still carried Sophie, and sat her on the sofa. He turned when he felt a tug on his shirt. Little Emi stood there, dummy in her mouth. She stretched out her arms, flexing her fingers. Freddie smiled and picked her up, holding her close. He peppered her face with kisses and sat down next to Sophia with her in his arms. Sophie climbed up onto his lap next to Emi, and Freddie held his babies close.

"I love you both." He smiled, and they snuggled into his chest. Jim wrapped an arm around Freddie, and Freddie leant on his husband. He felt his eyes drooping. He didn't mind. Jim was warm, the sun was shining through the windows. All was peace. He'd see to it that he kept it that way.

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