Jimercury oneshots! ❤️

I miss you... - Fluff

Jim sighed to himself as his eyes swept over the black and white photographs, his fingers ever so slightly shaky, his voice merely hoarse.

"God, I miss you..."

The next photo his eyes landed on was of him and his husband at Freddie's 39th birthday party in Munich. Freddie's legs were wrapped around Jim's waist, hands on his shoulders, head thrown back in laughter.

"Oh, Freddie..."

A sad smile spread across the Irishman's face, and a single, lonely tear slid down his pale cheek.

A tear full of loss.

A tear full of love.

A tear full of memory.

The picture after that showed Freddie and Jim meeting their daughter, Sophia, for the first time.

The newborn rested on Freddie's chest, and one of the Persian's hands was placed firmly on her back, the other lay gently on the back of her head. Jim's arms were wound around Freddie's petite figure, and both males had a smile that could stop the sun from shining.

Jim's heart ached. It wasn't fair. He wanted to feel Freddie stroke his hair like he does so well, lips captured in a loving kiss. He wanted to hear Freddie singing to their daughter from the bedroom while he tends to the flowers in the garden. He wanted to smell Freddie's favourite spray as the two men embraced, relaxed, feeling as though nothing could tear them apart.

He wanted Freddie back.

Another picture crossed his path of view.

Wembley 1986.

Freddie always loved the colour yellow, Jim remembered, beaming. Once, Jim gifted him a bunch of yellow roses on their anniversary. He wanted, more than anything, to see that sparkle in Freddie's eyes again. He wished that it was possible.

But as Freddie stood on that stage, microphone in hand, all eyes on him, everyone watching, listening, waiting to see what he would do next, everything came flooding back.

Jim remembered the surge of excitement he received when the crowd cheered for his partner. He remembered the level of energy Freddie contained as he zoomed about on stage like a firebolt of talent. He remembered Freddie having the crowd in the palm of his hand from the second he went on stage, to second he took his bows and strutted off into Jim's waiting arms.

He was brilliant on stage, Jim thought.

I wonder if he's singing to our daughter from heaven. I wonder if she can hear him. I wonder if she's singing too.

There was one photograph that made Jim's heart stop, his eyes water and his breath hitch. It was a photo of their wedding day.

Jim had seen Freddie smile before, but he had never seen Freddie smile like that. It was a smile of pure love and joy, as he held hands with his lover, a gold ring on his finger, surrounded by his closest friends and family.
Jim would give the world to see Freddie smile like that again.

He was cremated with that ring...

Jim remembered yet again. Freddie lay in his arms, too weak to stand, breathing so unevenly. So raggedly. His eyes were glazed, his skin was cold. He was thin. So thin. But he smiled up at the Irishman with the same love as when they first became lovers.

So many years ago...

"I'm gonna die with this ring, Jim..." his husband had said. "I'm not ever gonna take it off. Not in life, and not in death. Don't even try and change my mind."

Jim didn't want to.

Jim imagined Freddie sitting on a cloud above him, watching him, twisting the ring on his finger, like he used to, but never removing it. Just twirling it around.

"Is it nice in heaven, Fred?" Jim questioned aloud. He knew he wouldn't get a response, but nevertheless, he listened. Listened for Freddie's voice. It never came.

"Are you waiting for me?"

If only it was that easy. If only Freddie was just a phone call away, or a short drive in the car. If only he could talk to Freddie. Just talk. He didn't have to do much more, but it would be nice to know that his husband is safe up there. Nothing and nobody else mattered at that moment. Jim could only think of one thing that mattered to him right now, and that was Freddie. Freddie mattered.

Freddie.

Right now, that was all he wanted.

Just Freddie.

Only Freddie.

If only.