Frozen Feelings

My worst

The buzz from my fan
A kick of the blinds
My room is dark
So is my mind

I'm thinking of you
My greatest muse
You are the one man
Who made me look like a fool

You were so sweet when I met you
A genuine guy, I thought
You let me see the best of you
The start to our movie plot

Things went pretty fast
Despite being online
You told me you loved me
After a short amount of time

After being alone for so long
I ignored my own thoughts
My heart wanted to be happy
Personally, I was lost

I just had the lowest of lows
One where I do things I shouldn't
My skin felt the pain
That he never could

You jumped in to save me
Pretending to care
You listened and held me
Even when you weren't there

I fell in love without realizing
You were perfect in my eyes
Even though my best friend said no
I ignored her and the signs

Each time that we argued
You put a dagger through my heart
But when I cried, you noticed
So I simply bled out

You would tell me what I wanted
Say the words I craved
Though I knew it was wrong
It made me choose to stay

I gave up everything for you
Every piece of me was gone
I let them go from me to you
One by one

I loved you more than myself
More than anyone else
Even more than yourself
But it was never enough

When you had everything you wanted
And more than even that
You took the daggers from my heart
And stabbed me in the back

2 years, 7 months, 1 day
I finally had no choice
It was impossible to stay
I told you it was over

At first you begged and cried
You asked to hold me
And you told me
That everything was alright

I refused to come close to you
Instead I spoke through pain
"You broke my fucking heart"
Not that it mattered anyway

You told me that you still loved me
That it was all a big mistake
See I might have believed you
If it wasn't your first break

I sent you home that day
To the place where you belong
Me... I layed in bed
As I wept all day long

That day was the worst day of my life
And not because I lost you
See deep down in my soul
I knew you never loved me

I knew the love you gave was fake
Even though the love I gave was real
I accepted it anyway
Because I needed to

I let you abuse me
For almost 3 years
With your words
And with my body

I never had any bruises
It wasn't superficial cuts
You abused me from within
When I gave you my trust

The things you told me about myself
The way you yelled without raising your voice
You made me feel like I was nothing
Except a body incapable of love

You would make tears fall from my eyes
Then simply wipe them away
You never apologized for it, though
You said I caused my own pain

The worst part is you're right
I did cause my own pain
By giving you the chance
My worst mistake