Frozen Feelings

Barcodes

Black and white lines
They come together
Easy to scan
As I process numbers

I spend the day sleeping
To avoid the hunger
My stomach tenses up
I'd rather let it simmer

I slip on my jeans
Get ready for the day
Once the fabric wrinkles
I know I'm okay

As the loop presses through
The belt cinches tighter
A feeling I love
It gives me the power

I stare in the mirror
Until my double chin fades
Without the additional fat
I don't completely hate my face

It's addicting in the worst way
The results are quick
I can starve for a week
I see myself thin

I'm just big boned
The scan proved that fact
It's also why I allow
My ribs to stick out like that

When you live in my body
Nobody is ever the wiser
I'm big for a woman
So I'm not even a liar

I don't have to make excuses
Or explain why I'm thinner
I just wear my hoodies
And let my bones be concealers

I still eat during the day
When my friends are around
I eat around them often
So nobody makes a sound

The store makes it easy
I buy the same thing
It's already scanned in
I don't have to make a scene

I work around 3 scales
That remind me every day
It's normal to step on them
Then calculate my weight

I'm heavier than I've ever been
It's getting on my nerves
So I'll starve myself for now
Until I have more self worth