Frozen Feelings

Dangerous

As our eyes met the first time
I could feel our connection
Your presence made me calm
My newest obsession

Forced to start as friends
It was more than you and I
You had to watch me lose myself
For a different guy

Talking to you was easy
Your thoughts were golden
I valued your mind
More than my own

As the messages continued
Our conversations got deeper
It felt completely natural
You made my mind shutter

When something happens to me
Whether good or bad
You're the one I want to go to
You help me when you can

When my ex disrespected me
I saw it spark a fire
You wanted me to leave
I wasn't ready for the end

I decided to work through things
To forgive him this one time
You reluctantly allowed it
And stuck by my side

Over one year later
When he broke my heart
It was you who answered the call
As I fell apart

You were the only one I wanted to call
Your advice was the holy grail
You helped me think more clearly
You supported me to conclude his betrayal

Though I always feel one sided
As if I'm always draining you
When you broke up with your girlfriend
It was me that you talked to

As I learned to live alone
Through some of the worst days of my life
You kept checking in on me
You encouraged me to fight

With time, I moved on
You started to notice
I was allowed to flirt
Our words were flowing

Finally, you called me out
As you admitted there was more
With your mind set on friends
My heart hurt a little, but sure

I decided it didn't matter
I was willing to sacrifice
I wanted your hands on my body
I am willing to pay the price

You emphasized "nothing more"
So I obliged at the time
I gave temporary reasons
Deep down, I want you to be mine

You started to waffle on our deal
You had unresolved feelings
It felt wrong for both of us
My ex was still there in spirit

I really think that in person
If you give me the chance
You'll see that I'm different
You'll see who I really am

I've grown apart from him
I'm not the same girl he knew
With that change
Changes me and you

I want you to see the real me
The woman that I am
I think it'll help you realize
You're not just a backup plan

Though it makes no logical sense
My brain is screaming no
My heart has decided
I should give it a go

Your laugh makes me happy
Especially if it's from my joke
I want the best things for you
You really do deserve the world

I want to have the chance
To test out me and you
Even for just a moment
Just us two

Wanting you is dangerous
Because the situation is weird
You give me mixed signals
Then shut down for months

I want to get to know you
Without someone in our way
I respect that we were loyal
But I need you differently

I want to open your heart
To fall without regret
I want to have you, josh
It's on replay in my head