Frozen Feelings

Suspense

I woke up tonight
In the middle of my sleep
Then my mind decided
It had things to think

You would think the forefront of my mind
Would be focused on my ex
For he did cheat and break my heart
But I'm not thinking of him

I'm thinking of you
Of how long I've been feeling this way
My last poem for you
Was just over one year ago

I don't think you've noticed me
That you thought of me that way
Not that you ever said you would
My heart was just hoping it was a possibility

I've become incredibly anxious
Thinking about our conversation
Nothing will be left unsaid
That brings up 1,000 questions

I have to do it this time
I have to tell you how I feel
I can't be a hypocrite
I can't keep going back and fourth

I've tried to move on from you
So it didn't come to this point
Yet every time I think I'm done
You prove me wrong once again

I know it's probably a mistake
Where I'll end up in pain
I just can't shake the image
Of giving you that chance

Maybe I'm reading things wrong
Or believing what I want to hear
My heart won't settle
Until I know for sure

If you do break my heart in this conversation
Which is a reasonable outcome
I won't blame you for it
This is the web that I spun

I'm not sure you understand
The power you hold over me
If I'm being completely honest
That terrifies me

I'm going to put myself on the line
Knowing you probably can't relate
But you know what I would regret even more
Is never telling you what's in my brain

I can't shake the feeling
That my heart holds for you and I
My mind tells me we deserve a chance
Even if it ends awry

Your smile and your laugh
Make me giddy inside
Though not in person just yet
I feel lost in your eyes

You've got a lot to deal with right now
So I will wait patiently
I just had to officially say
The suspense is killing me