Frozen Feelings

Now

One picture
Worth one thousand words
One photo
Brings back one thousand memories

I don't miss you
But I remember you
I remember everything
Like it was yesterday

I remember laying in bed
Staring into your baby blue eyes
It seemed like time stopped
When you stared back into mine

I remember going to movies
Taking off our shoes
Having mini thumb wars
While the scenes moved

I remember cooking with you
Making crepes for your mother
Laughing while we danced
As the stove simmered

I remember driving with you
And at each red light
You would kiss me for a moment
While the whole world flew by

I remember going out for food
Ordering through the drive through
We would sit and eat in the parking lot
And share our meals, though we didn't have to

I remember going to your games
Watching you coach your team
You would always look over at me
As I sat there in the stands

I remember moving you in
Decorating your dorm room
It was all pictures of us
They surrounded you

I remember playing game pigeon
Back and fourth over text
We did this to distract ourselves
Like when I was doing my prep

I remember brushing our teeth together
Holding each other's hands
You always had to go pee first
So I would wait there and stand

I remember cuddling in the living room
Running my hands through your hair
You would fall asleep each night
Then I would have to go upstairs

I remember running with you
Right after my surgery
We weren't going fast
But you still encouraged me

I remember kissing all around your face
To hear that precious giggle
Before we had to part ways
It made it a little less bitter

I remember going to the baseball game
We barely even watched
I wore your jersey
As we talked and talked

I remember you picking me up from the hospital
Taking me to the subway
You forced me to eat my sandwich
You made me smile that day

I remember how you woke up in the morning
How you were grumpy until you ate
The way your eyes would shimmer in the sun
You always made me leave late

I remember ranting to you
About whatever happened during my day
You would pretend to listen
Then move on to your point

I remember meeting your family
Making them tie blankets as a gift
They all seemed to love me
They told you I was perfect

I remember when you would hug me
The smell of your cologne
I felt safe in your arms
Like I could call you home

I remember laughing with you
Over all our inside jokes
We would laugh together
Over and over and over

I remember meeting your friends
It was awkward at first
But they, too liked me
And told you to keep me close

I remember making out with you
My mind would float to another world
As you pulled away and said "I love you"
I would gently wipe your lips

I remember showing you my world
Letting you see the good and the bad
I told you literally everything
I trusted you like I never had

I remember moving in with you
When you said "this is forever"
It was the best and worst time
Trying to both be better

I remember doubting your love
Asking if everything was alright
Each time you always assured me
Everything is just fine

I remember fighting in our living room
Until you made me cry
I layed in the corner of our room
For hours that night

I remember you leaving the apartment
During one of our arguments
When you came back after an hour
I couldn't stop crying

I remember finding the messages on your phone
That proved my intuition was right
You told her that you loved her, too
I gave up on the world that night

I remember packing your stuff
We had one more conversation
We hugged and kissed
Then we said goodbye for real

I haven't seen you since that day
I rarely hear your voice
Though I hate what you did to me
I have these memories each night

I didn't list them all
That would take forever
And I can't sit here and think
About those empty promises

You're the only person I've ever loved
The one who I gave my entire heart
I'll never be able to comprehend
How you easily tore it apart