Frozen Feelings

Lying for a cause

I'm in a different space
Away from home
750 miles away
If we're counting

I love it here
The kids
The calmness
Except for one thing

I can't walk away
I can't cry alone
I can't take a second
To be on my own

I'm closer to people than I've ever been
Surrounded by them, in fact
So how is it possible
That I feel more alone

As my head sits on the pillow
My eyes find the wall
Pain crosses my cheeks
At the beginning of it all

My roommate lies 6 feet away
Oblivious to my numbness
I'm used to hiding in my shadow
In a room full of life

The mask on the outside
Lies constantly
Yet when I lay at night
Nobody sees

The smile that I give
It's so innocent
Everyone believes it
Even I do sometimes

I had someone to go to
Their voice made me breathe
The person I needed
Until I had to leave

I saw that handsome face
Day after day
For hours on end
I took it for granted

Now all we get
Is 15 minutes
You're half asleep
Too sad to witness

The distance kills us
On the inside, at least
We can't tell each other
It digs up the shadows beneath

So my only outlet
The reason I was fine
Disappeared
In the blink of an eye

You say I can tell you anything
Yet when you see the pain in my eyes
You tell me to stop it
You hate when I cry

My pain would make ours worse
So I get it, trust me
But who can I go to
When you're my everything

I'll stay strong for now
Until I stumble
And when I actually do
I'll crumble