Frozen Feelings

"Normal"

I'm laying in my bed
No outlet for my pain
I have people who care
But the story is the same

My disease wants to hurt me
It's doing really well
I can't seem to have a moment
Where I am in good health

I am trying so fucking hard
To cover up my pain
The truth is
I'm struggling every day

I only open up to a few people
The ones who know my pain
But that's the thing
They don't need to hear it again

Another day of my intestines
And my back and my knee
Crashing and burning
Holding me on a leash

This time is the worst
My emotions are all over
My treatment isn't working
The Tylenol isn't, either

I'm forced to wait it out
Take more pills in addition
I'm told they're gonna help
That they'll put me in remission

It's really quite the joke
A game my bowels play
Remission doesn't last
It's been less than one year

That part that really gets me
The quote that makes me boil
The first doctor told me
"You'll be back to normal"

I know what isn't normal
Taking around 15 pills a day
I feel like an addict
When I'm the victim to this game

56 pills later
2 months away
I get to know
How much more I have to pay

Both to the hospital and my health
For a higher class of treatment
To relieve the symptoms
To make my body give itself a break

I'm sorry for those I love
To listen to me complain
I promise it does actually hurt
Day after day after day