When did I become dependent
On the medicine
On doctor visits
On treatment
I should be grateful
It's not Cancer or Crohn's
I am grateful
I'm lucky
Sometimes, though
I think about the past
Wonder what happened
Why my body turned against me
Max doses on every med
Until they find a way
To make me normal
To stop this pain
"The goal is for you to feel normal"
I'm puzzled
How can I feel normal
Taking over 20 pills a day
My stomach always hurts
Food makes it worse
My pills tear my insides
Every. Single. Time
After three months
Trying to find who I am
I'm still not better
My body just can't
His head snaps towards mine
The face of surprise
When I tell him
I'm still not alright
I just want an answer
I want the old me back
Take away this pain
Give me a break
My tests came back normal
But I don't feel normal
I'm still having symptoms
Where is the end
It's forever
Yes, there's remission
Yet it's always there
Waiting to come again
I just want to sleep
Until it's gone for good
That won't happen
No matter how hard I try
What should I do?
It pains me to take pills
But without them
I'm so much worse
I hate this
I really do
I know I shouldn't
But that's the truth
YOU ARE READING
Frozen Feelings
PoetryThis book outlines the pain I experienced in my past and the things that I look back on. These are my greatest fears and worst moments. I'm not writing this for the public, but for myself
