Frozen Feelings

Why?

I'm sorry, I did it again
Searched for validation
As I swiped right and left
There was no beat in my chest

I had just gotten home
From a 12 hour shift
You messaged me
Come over

I hesitated at first
Too good to be true
So I had you confirm
It was really you

Through snapchat I saw
You were the same as before
I got ready to come meet you
Then I showed up at your door

You looked better in person
I couldn't believe I was there
We had a good conversation
We both listened and shared

You took control after a while
Cuddled me up in your arms
As we watched a movie
I felt your heart beat so hard

I let you make the first move
You pulled my face close to yours
As we locked lips
I had no words

I could tell you didn't want to stop
As you tugged on my clothes
As they swiftly hit the floor
You continued to come close

One thing led to another
Until I was down on my knees
As you tried to control yourself
But I know how to please

You didn't make me leave afterwards
You had me cuddle with you again
Although it was a little weird
You made me feel something

You said I surprised you
Why does everyone say that?
You said I'm a very bad girl
I replied... our secret

You were so genuine to me
I could tell you actually cared
I knew I wasn't just a body to you
At least I thought so before I left

As I reminisced on our time together
I went back onto tinder
Only to notice your profile
Was gone from my matches

You still had me on Snapchat, though
I was getting that bad feeling
I sent one small chat
Pending

I really couldn't believe it
Congratulations to you
I usually get a good read on people
Turns out you're unpredictable, too

I can't help it, though
I remember the chain on your neck
You said so many times
We should hang out again

No matter what, it's over
The one spark I had in a while
Now that you also don't want me
It's gonna be hard to smile

I just don't get it anymore
Why nobody is genuine enough
If you had just been upfront
This wouldn't be tough

Now I'm done trusting again
I put it all on the line
I tried to leave it in the past
Here we are... one. more. time.

Well thank you, Ryan
You confirmed that it's true
I can't trust anyone anymore
They all end like you

A memory I covet
In the back of my mind
Though I want to go back
It's not worth my time