TURN BACK THE TIME, BABE. BOOK 5. GIVING IT ALL MY SOUL

I TRY HARD TO STAY AWAY

- Open up your mouth.

If I was waiting for him to sleep, I would never do it. It was urgent having those tests and the results. I couldn't go on with that uncertainty.

- Nina had also got that stick into my mouth. I'm still waiting to find out the reason why.

- Open your mouth. Come on.

- I won't open it up till you explain to me what for.

- Freddie, doctor's things. It's just a little test. It won't hurt you, come on.

- I don't give a damn if it hurts me, ok? What's more, I wish it would hurt me. That way I could feel another kind of pain.

- Is your throat still aching?

- I don't give a damn my throat too.

- Ha, I can't believe you.

- I'm not talking about my throat now, ok? And keep away that stick from my mouth.

- Oh, Fred. Please. This is important.

- For whom?

- We need to know where your cold comes from.

- You don't care what hurts me, do you?

- Alright, tell me what the hell hurts you.

- It hurts me here -he brought my hand to his chest, his heart beat quietly, his usual, sexy rhythm.

My eyes locked his with faked calm but the truth is I was not ready for a fight now. I didn't want to start it off but our attitude all through the tour was becoming irrational and I wanted to stop hurt each other.

- How long will last this cold war, Freddie?

- I didn't start.

- Don't be unfair. The fights are always a thing of two people.

- Not this time.

- Alright. Let's talk about your wish of pissing away my birth control. Do you want to talk about that?

- It's very hard to understand, Elideth. I can't understand how someone who tells me that she loves me, had humilliate me that way.

- Humilliate you? Freddie, being assertive is not humilliate. Do you want me to accept everything you come up with?

- I was getting used to your No till you tell me No to a baby.

A baby, a baby, a baby... his two last words in the sentence seemed to throw despair echos to every inch of my brain.

- It's not a definitive NO. Maybe in the future. Look at our lives...

- In the future? When? I don't want to be a fifty something father like mine.

- And I don't want to be a mother like mine.

I had done more easily than expected. It didn't usually happen to me. My most irrational fears didn't come out easily. It was terrible hard for me to speak out.

- Are you now an alcoholic and drug addict teenager? What did I miss?

- Freddie, I'm just saying you have to take into account more things than just a damn dream...

- I woke up crying and with my heart bursting with love. I think sometimes we need giving value to our dreams.

God, the fucking persian knew how to kill me. He got me pretty much watched. I wanted to comfort right now those tears even before they appeared in his eyes.