TURN BACK THE TIME, BABE. BOOK 5. GIVING IT ALL MY SOUL

CALL THE SHOTS

- If you go on writing those letters you'll end up win over me.

- Which letters?

- The letter you sent me today.

- I haven't written any letter to you.

Oh, oh. It was about time the truth would come out. That was in my plans. But once Tony was there, part of my job was really done.

Freddie smoothed in his hands the already wasted paper I had carefully written. Once in a while he brought his hand to his mouth in that typical gesture of his and took quick looks at Bastin, who stared at him quiet, as he was reading.

- Goddamit, it looks like a lot to my handwriting.

- And smells like you.

Freddie took the paper to his nose and then smiled naughty. How could he be so flirty?

- Then you are happy in your marriage, you don't crave to start a torrid romance with me and you don't regard me as your particular muscular relaxation.

- It's such a beautiful letter. I couldn't even think of writing something like this.

A wave of egomaniac flush filled my cheeks on hearing him that.

- I've left my job for that letter.

- I'm sorry, darling. I'm getting you a job in a flash.

- But your heart doesn't belong to me.

- Is that what you think? I always share my heart with all my friends. And you are one of them.

Bastin's face got flushed too. Suddenly we both looked terribly flushed because that insolent and handsome persian man. Love was in the air. Everywhere. Friends will be friends.

Freddie was not made of stone and his soft heart together with his ravishing cock, would clear me the way to my only possible joy at the moment, Elideth's destruction.

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It wasn't a good idea running away from the pain. I'd rather accept Freddie as he was. If he was dazzled by someone, everybody else disappeared. And which would be my role? Waiting patiently he would discover his real feelings for Bastin? Did I have to keep him some company through the same road he had treaded long before he met me? When he was doomed to die, when he was probably with that virus inside his body. Running to a corner throwing a jealousy tantrum couldn't be my choice. I was a grown woman aware of the extent of this mission and if my goals stood below my love for Freddie, I wasn't doing my job properly. I wouldn't get my goal.

The night got out of hand. We were at Stafford Terrace to end up the night in style. We had drunk quite a lot. At the beginning I didn't want getting into that spiral. I knew quite well my body that seemed specially ready to turn into a machine prone to addictions. My natural mother had given me her looks and all the Queen discography but I might have in my blood her ingredient of dangerous drug addict. I still remembered that 74 tour. My ability to empty out bottles as though they were water bottles. My ability to snort and get coke. It seemed like the vice and I were the same thing. Something so natural like the sand and the sea.

We were all ridiculously drunk and drugged. That was the sad scene. But, what else could I do? Running away, sober and flared up in jealousy to lose the control of my task? There was no other way out that blending it well. Like a downright chamaleon and trust a happy end if I had to sacrifice myself as many times before.

I wasn't at my prime to give myself into vices. My spy mind fought with all her might against my woman madly in love brain. And it was an unequal fight. My disgusting heart was always the winner.